to tear or not to tear

sorry.

2004-12-02T21:29:00.000+08:00

sorry guys... duno what happened here. blog's gone nuts.

2004-11-30T21:26:00.000+08:00

ARHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! THIS CANNOT HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!! HOW DID IT HAPPEN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! WHO DID THIS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!? AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HALF MY BLOG IS GONE!!!!!! ALL GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MORE THAN HALF THE HTML ARE GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 WHO DID THIS?! OWN UP!!!!!!!

sniff.

tomorrow is inevitable

2004-11-15T20:36:00.000+08:00

concert tmr. ppl, jia1 you2!!! let's do our bestest best and make the audiences go wow! and let's really leave them speechless! yes. ya. nth to say one... haiz...

xxx and xxx are what xxx want

2004-10-31T22:39:00.000+08:00

the com is very slow!!!! very veyr slow!!!!!! i finish typing half this sentence then it appear. bleah......... ya. cut my first video. was very nice. cause is i edit one... heh heh.... nvm.

[lj] pls stop crapping la... and your standard very low sia. not like mine... haha... sry. still. you know what i mean.

hai... com very slow. cannot ren3 le. dun wan to type le.

LIFE IS FRAGILE

2004-10-29T21:43:00.000+08:00

went sch, dismiss went cg.

CG
went bouna vista cc la. then play badminton play until very lei wor... then play with yakka very hard one wor. she pick up the shuttle cock le jui4 immediately serve one lor. then she keep shouting duno wad[i haven't figured it out yet incase you haven' notice.hahx.] then i was like abit fan2. then play using lj's racket wor. wah!!! like so heavy... my one was very light. but hannah's lighter. hahx. but i like mine most. hehx. sry. abit xiao xiao today.

then rush to tiong la. to pass tix ma. then very gan. was worried will be late lor. cause 1.00 le i still stuck in commonwealth...

Tiong
ya. reach at abt 1.26. on my clock. ya. he even later. ya. but got reason la. so nvm lor. must forgive. got ppl accident. so he first aid go help. then nvm la. wait lor. wait for 20 over minutes[what's the best thing you can do when you have nth to do? count the time.] ya. then pass the tix le lor. then ask if i got wait very long or not. then i say over 20 mins. now feel guilty abt it lor. cause the person he was trying to save died.

i ting1 le the news was very upset oso lor. so ya.

*.*.*get the sleeping pills if you really need it hor! try and rest well.*.*.*

westmall
ya. went westmall wait for mom. went library. was trying to make my sister read a bk that she's nv read b4. then she fan1 lian3 with me and walk by herself lor. eh.how many 6 yrs old will go fan1 lian3, i ask you? decided to let her go herself. she dare not go out of the children section alone one.

home
ya. crap ard la. then drag time. read abit bk, then went online lor. then ate my dinner infront of the com. then my pa nag nag nag until i dun care le, dun eat le. like where can lidat one?ya. i for got abt my dinner until i typed this lor. hahx.

ya...

it's very saddening that life is so fragile. one moment you may be enjoying yourself, the next, you're gone. like. life is fragile. God can decide to give you life or take it away. life is even more easy to lose than anything else of material. life is fragile.

fragile

walk down the streets
everything's the same
listen to the feets
pattering on the lane

across the roads
is where you go
assumption of both
a huge mistake

travelling along
walking across
the pain incured prolong
as life drains away slowlyyy

help arrives
rescue mission
unsuccessfulness
gone.

like that.
just gone.
plain like that.
gone...

shaken
leaves
broken
feelings.

gone.

LIFE IS FRAGILE!!!

2004-10-24T16:12:00.000+08:00

bad headache...
by right ok abit liao, then decide to use com one.
use le headache again.
cause alot of junk mail etc.
plus light too bright...

bleah.
been having this headace since friday.
miserable.

headache pain until yesterday very tired, then cannot wake up.
haiz.

heacaches are bad things.

ate 2 panadols this morning.
not much help.

today mom's b'dae.
sis sent a bouquet to mom.
frm aust.
haz.

ow...

les miserable

my head hurts...

looking at this screen makes it worse.

hehx.

2004-10-20T22:43:00.000+08:00

exams are over, exam results are back and i'm half dead. hahx.

eL ---56[c5 ]
cL ---60[b4]
math ---60[b4]
sc ---63[b4]
geog ---67[b3]
hist ---58[c5 ]
lit ---65[b3]
dnt ---64[b4]
hmec ---50[c6 ]
art ---71[a2]
cme --- [a ]
music--- [a ]

61.4%
30/40[in class]
266/355[in level]

---

apparently i've improved. i dun see any though. khan said i tried harder[i haven't] and acheived better grades in SOME subjects. hahx. at least she knows to say some.

anw,where got lor.

ca2 to sa2 ---

improve---el,cl,math,dnt
deprove---sc,hist,lit

orhkay la. got improve la. but not much lor. and my history!!! i'm very shocked with myself sia... how could i deprove!!! i'm thinking of taking history next yr leh!!! sigh... math+sc average pass la, so can take 'a' math. bleah.

going home the time jessica was trying to edplain what'log' was. explain explain i still very confsed sia...

ma!!! call in Mr chan!!!! Mr chan was me sis's math&sc tuition teacher. apparently my sis got alot of distinction under him. hahx. hope i dun kana slaughter. haiz...

khan was being a pig last yr. [cherie, i'm helping you chu1 qi4. though in ownself also angry with khan] khan was like so freaking piggish lor. cherie wanted to joun band last yr. then knhan won'/t allow wor. cos ther'd be no one to coach her according to khan. i tell you har... the snrs more than happy to coach sia. summore dun need coaching one lor. you know fingering, how it sounds, rhythm, everything will fall in liaol lor. like me level last yr. never got coached one lor. just sit ther, try again and again by ourselves. now we not as almost as good as the sec3? hurh? plus she last time played trumpet. and geko could help[right?].

anw, last yr khan incharege hor, our cca pts only got 2 wsia. this yr low in charge, got duno how many le lor. khan is... not nice... at the very least bit, she still bother abt the case[most prob cos she dun wan termite eat the sch up. hahx. bleah.]

anw, got alot of cca pts sia. but must do cip. only got 26-27 hrs[for both yrs]. need at least 33/yr to make up 100 for cip all 4 yrs.. haiz. next yr must slog for cip la... haiz... nvm. getting the paper frm tic tm for cip. hols go do. hax. BLEAH! >.<

today as today

2004-10-15T17:47:00.000+08:00

sux man. i duhno what sux, but sth sux right now.

a lot sian today.

went 3c3 find sy, then the woman not there wor! made me feel like some extra. ok. i WAS extra. dun care le lo. left the things[2 french horn 'statuette'* for annie & ruth] on her desk and left lor. went back to class, crapped ard. went hall watch this stupid video. luff like xiao. they filmed the flutes[g, c, j, + i forgot who] and the clarinets[p, pt, g + a few covered faces] and sy and almost filmed the tubas. hax. luffed myself mad.

go bak to class got this stupid quiz thing. and the clique sux like hell. like they totally won't write down the question i gave, which i think no one will be able to ans lor. it was entertainment wad. just a diff aspect. i was so dekucf up that i ignored everyone the rest of the time and grabbed my bk to read.

went recess. went band rm collect tix and all. sy ask me if wanna play with the sec3s for the primary sch visit tingy. said yes. i'm the only sec2 in the section to go. why me? why not mel? mel is good. anw. went in. crap ard. sam hit me, i hit her back triple fold. collect tix. 10 $15s, 2 $252.

went back to class the gnikcuf clique was there dominating the whole charade thing. and why is another class the ppl in our class? it's not like they own the whole class and any1 they know can just come in to distrupt us. was so fustrated i read my bk. they like so fan2 lor. got one question i gave them the ans. it was correct, then they din listen.

one thing i realise abt 2g1. they duno what marco polo did with spagetti. marco polo didn't invent spagetti. the chinese did. they invented noodles. marco polo modified it and brought it to the west. this is how bias ppl r to the west instead of the east.

crap sia. din join in charades cause s was going up time and again and not giving chance to others to go. did the quilt thing., crap khan la. got problem. dun no wad her prob is lor. hao3 jiao4 bu4 jiao4 yao4 jiao4 wo3. like what did i do that she must call me instead of some sewing expert guai kai? i'm not v gd at sewing and i'm definitely not a good student. i'm one who makes small troubles la.

when me and hg got the tix we went and pester josef to buy and bring his gf along. then make us wait outside la. then wait duno how long le call in and ask whether he wan the tix or not he say check with his gf first owr. then hang up le wor. then dun care le la. leave!

like what's wrong with today?

going malaysia tmr. coming back on tues. got meself a tatoo. temp though. but still.

today sux like naughts.

what's wrong with me?

!termite termination!

2004-10-11T20:19:00.000+08:00

mel horn case got termite nest. she came out shouting when she opened her case. yifang pro man... one look then know is termite le. i was thinking it was ants. horrible sia. termites are bad. bad bad creatures. hao3 chi1 bu4 chi1 jiu4 yao4 chi1 mel de case. very farnie. then went to ask the teachers for insectiside, then in the end low know le. but better la. cause she know what to do. then had to bring out all the cases to shai4 then pen4 this duno wad thing la. then in the end delay one hour le. sy[not sheryan nor suiying] was being a bitch just now. cannot then cannot la. then one person cannot she dun adjust with that one person, must insist play with everybody else. that one person duno then play play play in the end everyone will be confused one. not that she dun do her job la. and not that she don't do it well la. but this is very fan2 lor. argh dun wanna care le.

clear mel case le then need sto shai4 for 2 daez[?] low say. but also said cannot use the case le. so tmr going to make mel ask mrs chua abt the case. see if she got extra[which is not very possible] or not or wad lor. just found out that yamaha sells horn case at $25. case only. no horn. ya. so must rmb tell mel. ya. she took arioso away and replaced it with st florine's church thingy. i want arioso!!! but i want concerto more. chua dun wan two same composer. Jacob de hann is a very good composer/arranger. ya. like all his songs all v nice. esp blues factory. anw, back to the point. ya. then chua say unless we can find an easier piece, then w'll have to stick to st florine's. should i ask her abt hawaii 5-0? cause it's a noci peice and sounds. i said sounds easy to learn and master. ya. duno la. anw... see how st florine's go first la. if it's horrid, then maybe tell chua la. but will prolly drag someone with me. hax. sry, the future person who i will drag. want a pepsi now!!! argh!!! low glucose level... hax. i want my pepsi!!!!!!!!

ice skating

2004-10-10T17:25:00.000+08:00

just sent a very horrid email to this gurl who insulted me. insulted her back.

anw, went ice skating just now in the afternoon. almost kana knock down by alot of showoffs. this checked shirt guy kept trying to make me fall. then like duno how many times liao lor. swore at him quietly la. then one time made me fall sia. then i shouted swear word at him. was very angry sia. then in the end, when he try to make me fall, he fell. was laughing until almost fell down. hax. then was keeping distance la. like the time me and my sis kana knock down by someone two times. then the person fell lar. then he slid across the rink and rammed into the wall. was laughing like mad. then i dun care liao la. enjoy myself. then i tried stopping alot of times. cannot. one time i try then ram my chin onto the barrier. another time nearly flipped over the barrier. hax. dangerous sia. then my mom watching my sis ma. then i ran towards the barrier and tried to stop, then rammed into the barrier. then my mom was like giving me the 'are you ok' face. was laughing. then was going very fast. then slow down the time then cannot slow wor. then i flipped over and fell on my bum into a puddle. so i had a aching bum and a half wet jeans. then after that, i was like so tense. then i fell on my side and got a 3/4 wet jeans. then i fell on my bum in another big big puddle and ended up soaking wet. the guy who tried to make me fall was laughing. i wanted to like punch his stupid face[which horridly looks like daniel radcliff's with specs. horrid sia.] but i had the last laugh la. hax. fell on my knee a few times la. right knee. then had a pain right knee in the end. now still a leetle beet painful. the most embarrassing thing was when i fell flat down my side when i let go of the barrier. cause skate long without rest, then leg nuan3 ma. then hit my elbow and the bit of place under the elbow. was hurting like hell. sigh.

i ram into the barrier, in attempt to stop, so much that now my right shoulder hurts like hell. seriously.when i went home, my legs and right arm was shaking. hands both also shaking. abit of bad la. keep telling myself to rest, but nv rest la. f next time go ice skating must rest like abt 5 mins every 30 mins. but i think by then i'll forget one lor. hax. stupid sia.

i was very pissed off by this person who called me a liar. damn pissed off sia. 1st she insult my maturity, then she insult my display pix, then she insult me. like so f*ing b lor. like she younger than me summore lor. like she think she very great sia. i din even say anything to offend her then she come and verbally attack me lor. like damn pissed off by the stoopid bitch who thinks blonds are better. bet she's a blonde herself, flattering herself. not that i'm against blondes or anything lidat, but this girl is really insultive lor. so i sent an insultive email to her. it's a pretty mean email la. so ppl who know me personally read le will be quite shocked that i can come up with this kinda things lor.

well, anw, it's my sis's b'dae tmr. so later must let her cut b'dae cake. hope it's not those creamy creamy ones. her last b'dae cake i ate, i nearly puked the next day. too much cream.

end exams.

2004-10-09T22:04:00.000+08:00

no more exams. but i'm sick. bleah. was sick on the 1st day of exams. but din go doctors. so continue get sick. today slept whole day cause eat medicine le then drowsy. bleah... almost choked on the panadol. very big. now crapping ard. gonna crap ard summore. went aunt house. then leaving the time then cousin go home ma. then on the way home, my mom ask me: "which twin was it?" i was like:"how i know? i tot u know one?" hax. then cannot diffrentiate one wad. cause twin ma. then my mom say, next time see whether he's dark or fair. dark one is the older one, fair one is the younger one. so confused sia. like, specs also same one summore. from i small until now still cannot diffrentiate. photo then can la. real person cannot. lalala. i'm crapping. sry. i'm toking to myself. help. bleah.

2004-10-01T20:45:00.000+08:00

AOWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! MY FINGER HURTS LIKE DUNO WAD!!!!! it just hurts so much......i wanna cry.no one's consoling me. it hurts alot.

felt it nessecary to blog today. cause have bad news. yohanna is in hospital. compared to her, my finger is not at all injured. khan told us that yo was just too tense up and can't relax at all. then cannot sit still and will shake alot. i wanna visit her and tell her it's ok. i'm thinking of giving her squash balls. you know, the ones where you use to smack on the wall again and again? ya. then she can whack it and treat it as all her troubles. maybe it will help her. but i duno where to get squash balls. >.<>

dance i fail by 0.25 ,marks. like so sao3xing4 lor. but music i think i will score well. i can do all and i rmb all even though i din study.

my finger still hurts. even more though...

2004-09-27T13:36:00.000+08:00

very tired. can't type properly. hand very lei4. duno why. i hate everybody today. cause i just do. i'm being crazy, not bothering abt anything much and just going abt doing things by myself. can't typw properly! upset. i hate everyone! i hate everything. i hate all things, living or not.

hate is a strong word, but i won't care. i'm being honest. everything and one is getting on my nerfews and my hands are mis aiming and heavy. can'tntype any more. can' use the mouse properly. help.

help.

sos.

2004-09-24T22:29:00.000+08:00

cannot say much kana scold by mama le, cause drag time drag very long lex. after eckxams then can blog long long. but think will nth to type one... hai. nz trip canceled. i'm outta practice. eckxams sux.

2004-09-20T13:47:00.000+08:00

i shall use normal font size cause nobody will be able to see it if i used small. yep.
and i din break my promise. we're having free time in com studies to do whateva we like. yep. so i came her cause i din bring my books to study... ting........

yeah. nth much la.

last monday... boring. suppose to go dentist, but got no appointment, so can't go.

tues oso. last tuesday... boring.

last wednesday... boring... orh!!!!! went dentist to have teeth plucked out. but dentist won't pluck out for me... stoopid dentist. then make me go to another dentist on another day for another appointment. so had to go back on saturday at 9.15 am. bad time. din go in the end cause i decided i'd like to doze till 12. but dozed till 1 in the end.

thursday... nth.

friday.. nth. except tuition. haha. then bully the sec 1s and the tuition teacher's son.[Mrs cheng] they came into the room and asked for the coke. then we say 'wait a while arh.' then we pour for ourselves first and asked who else want when still got some left. then we pass to the sec 1s. but the stoopid la... won't treasure what they have, then throw the bottle back in. haha. crap.

saturday, say le. went tuition. then nth lor. went aunt house to visit aunt. DUH. then visit uncle and cousins also. the cousin who's birthday is one day b4 mine. bleah. the went for dinner with them and big aunt[direct translation from chinese.] then big aunt told my her 2 sons played french horn the last time, i was like HUH?! cause play for 2 yrs le now then know. no wonder last time go their band concert nv see them la. cause i nv look at the french horn there. nvm then went to play with the baby. then she cry when she see me u know. u know why? cause i was wearing black and the baby scared black.
then went home and slept.

sunday. went music class thenbought new book, sonatina album. yeah. new book. then play sonatinas. the title very boring. but the songs very nice. so... went home and sat on the sofa and duno how... fell asleep. sleep until like 6. then woke up, then went to study. then mom came home from outside, then made me drink barley, drink until feel so bloated. was like... ermz...

nvm. so nth to do le la... hai... crap...

2004-09-18T22:59:00.000+08:00

dun wann update. forgot everything le. i promise my mom i'd not use the internet the whole week except for on saturday. yup. so that's it. promised myself i'd study too. but realised only today that i forgopt to bring anythoing home to revise. yep.

these few days.

2004-09-11T15:04:00.000+08:00

wednesday

band. forgot wad le. too long ago.

thursday

nth. slack ard.

friday

band. nth much to say either. brought back horn. went tuition. with my horn. almost left it there. then had to run back to retrieve it. my compo is in the tuition center webbie. www.ourlearninghub.com. yea. my compo title is the truth. ya./ lame la... nth lor.

today.

even more nth to do. sigh. hols are xian

2004-09-07T13:31:00.000+08:00

hahahaha. not. just heard that doraemon is difficult!!! panic le wor.... haiz...

thurs.
was very tired and had this attitude that i dun even know what it is.

friday.
last day, lazy to go online. woke up, rush to bus stop, was rushing down stairs when i fell and wnt down a few steps. then left palm was pain for the whole day. right middle finger was hurting for 2 days and butt, for 4 days. nth else to say.

sat.
in malaysia. nth to say.

sun.
in malaysia. nth to say either.

mon.
had to go to clinic. for either injectn or blood test. decided on blood test. less pain. wah. was like, 'over already arh?' when it ended. it was like so fast. but the needle was like so big. like until now the needle mark is still there lor.

band. shuang ying told me 10am. and guess what? it started at 9!!! was like panicking. then went down the stairs, saw smira, was like asking her, 'am i late?' like so panic. then nth lor. only got me, yuting, clarice and later mel and even later chee shan only. then play awhile,

then abt 10.45. break. until 11.45. go out of band rm. step on mel's stand. toe pain. then hopped to door. then hit knee on the door handle. even more pain. went macs in tanglin mall. then came back, then crapped ard. all through break, i was dotting yuting. then she got so fustrated. haha. oops. shermin and wanteng left later than us and reached sch earlier than us. guess why? taxi. duh. then crap ard. the combine!!! =)

combine. played s'pore experience. can do tonguing le!!! =) but not for v long. only short while only. but still better than nth. but if i dun think right, i'll go back to air mode instead of tongue mode. haha. dotz. then played big fun!!!1 =) haha. was so li hai wor... haha. juz joking. managed to get all e rythm right. even the whimsical part. what's whimsical by the way? =) then mrs chua gave us a new piece. CITY IN THE SKY. the score is hai sing one. nice. song. very. very. nice. song. then yuting let me play 1st with her. =) but when shuang ying and michelle come back, most likely i'll be playing 3rd le. that's the way things are. yea. like the song alot. alot. alot. alot. then the song super nice lor. oops. i think i said that right. but did i say it's nice AND simple? ha. no... i din. nvm. then mrs chua asked if we wanted to play doreamon for the other song. then half the ppl were like ok, ok. then ok lor. mrs chua go and get the score. went home, crap ard.

today.
history lecture. today sucks man. yep. went to sch. all was well. went into the PAT for the lecture. sitting at the side. with the gap. then play with mechanic pencil. then pencil drop down the gap. then cannot take up. was super fustrated. then used my other mechanic pencil. then textbook almost slide off my leg INTO THE GAP! then managed to stop it dropping in. then my OTHER pencil DROPPED IN! so both mechanic pencils drop in le lor. so NO MORE MECHANIC PENCIL!!!!! >=... lecture over. jasmine and hweegeok were horrible. i drop my pencil into the gap and they still can laugh.
goon was worse. after i told her, she gave me that 'huh?' face and said that i'd have to wait until they cleared th PAT, then go to the lost and found to redeem my pencils. huh. unsympathetic woman. hrurmph. bleah.

went home with lijin. cause she had to buy me a cup of coffee. then i'll buy her one after the next major exam. then went to buy brunch. bought a big breakfast that was small, and a filet-of-fish. and a harsh-brown. then finish everything. i think my mom was thinking that i'm nuits. i'm still hungry. haha.

heard from joelzy that doreamon is difficult at the fast part. hear le panic like xiao wer. now still panicking. scared later cannot play properly then how? diex lor. i think my whole section is gonna die for this song. as in die the bad way. not the good way.

2004-09-01T11:58:00.000+08:00

crap la. accidentally delete abit of what i type with -Long white wooden buildings-. crap la. now doing literature... ah!!! last min. sry lijin. oh no. made the text small. now cnanot read. read le got eye pain. nvm. going back to do lit lex... cya.

2004-08-30T20:28:00.000+08:00

crapping ard

ard and ard.

2004-08-30T12:39:00.000+08:00

lalala. in cs now. shervon not here. i think yet only.

saturday!!!

art awareness day. wake up at 7.30 when planned to go out 7.30. bleah. was packing bag. then while pap go down 'watm up' the car, i throw my bible in my bag... bleah...

reach sch early by 1/2 hr. crap ard until 8.30. then 'the making of a marching band... whee. seems like crescent was a very super gd marching band then. bleah. look so wei1 feng1. like so honourable...

then 10.30 finish le. went ard crapping. then went up to the auditorium outside crap ard until 11.00. then went toilet wif em, gen. then saw hannah and steph and i duno who. then wave wave. then go back hall. then wait outside. then xianx. then went in for te one-island thing. then more than half the class not there lor. was like what is going on?!

then the one isand thing sux. but i['m not gonna say it out direct. gonna be nice. --)

went church wif hannah and steph and lijin and yakka. wah. like for once in a long time can go lex. yeah. had a terrific time there. like so long nv go le, miss it le. yep. so happy there.

then crap ard after service la. then walk out le then decide what to do lex. then i had to return to sch. cause mom dad coming to pick me up. then only know when i like on the bus that they in sch le. was like so super frightened. then was like praying like dunno what. that they wun fibnd out then scold me like duno what. then thank God lorx. when i got to sch, me pap only like ask me alot of questn. then those i cannot ans truthfully i dun ans. haha. like stacey lidat(refer to roll of thundder hear my cry). haha. bleah. but was really super frightened.wah. then mom was like go home then i tok to u. i was ohno...

then went ikea eat dinner and buy my table. got 2 table. one black one white. like dominoes lidat. then got a 75x75 cushion. to sit on when doing hmwk. haha. crap. the table is 55x55x45. then went home. then i fixed my tables. then squashed it into my already squashy rm.

then i rmb i left my hp in the car. front seat summor. then was worried. ya. but cannot do anything. cause tell mom le she'll slaughter me.

sunday

woke up at 11.40. ate brunch. then mom came home after sending sis to tuition. then we went out for lunch. then i ealsied that my mom was sitting on my phone plus a sharp sharp ikea pencil and she din realise it. wah. is really thank God lor! it's like so obvious and she din even notice. who's work can it be other than God's?

ate at this raffles marina place. actually not eat. duno why oso. then it's like mom and dad and both sisters ate sth. then i din eat anything at all. then my mom made me drink this chendol and disgustingly it tasted exactly like this burbur chacha thing. was very xian. cause nth to do. then decided to do my hmwk. then guess what? my mom din want me to do. one yr ago, she'd have been super happy for see me doing hmwk even outside hm. was like what is going on?... very xian though. themn decided i'd better bring my sister go play games. or not xian until become stone le.

then went home. ythen i purposely spite my sister. duno why. she wanted to sleep just when i wanted to sleep, theni dun wan her to sleep in my rm. cause she got 2 beds. one is last time my one, which was last time my elder sis's. then i on the light and do my hmwk. then she moved to the other rm. then i make sure she sleep le then i went and sleep. hahja. so scheming. bleah. not nice eh?

then woke up at 11.40pm. then did abit of maths. then mom made me eat(in the middle of the night?!). then did math. then realsie i duno how to do. so went back to sleep.

today

crap ard. then crap ard. then nth lex.

la.la.la.

dot.

2004-08-27T20:51:00.000+08:00

went to sch. crap ard. went home with cherie and sufan. discuss abt tmr. make game of 'what if', usarin is the victim. what if usarin marries a computer guy and they run towards each other on the beach? usarin will reach the center before he does. .....a taf club person(sufan's idea)........? usarin will run to the center pt, wait for the guy, drink ice lemon tea and eat cake. then by the time the guy get there she go home le. crap la.

reach home. crap ard. etc etc. crap ard. 4.30. mom send me to tuitn. reach 20min early. sec1s still there. luke was using my place, so had to wait. lazy to wait. then occupied another chair. he leave le then i reclaim my teritory. continued compo abt a clone. 5 pgs done by 7.15pm. frm 5pm. fast eh? actually is 3 pgs only. stoopid edmund say i type fast. then stand behind, make darn lot noise then cannot concentrate. crap la.

then crap ard. then come home. short day past today. well, tmr will be a longer day ahead. hope i wake up in time.

tired. as usual.

2004-08-26T22:22:00.000+08:00

tired. medicine not yet wear off.
woke up - 5.20am
pack things - shoes(2pairs), vest, sch skirt and blouse, bk, pencil case, water, etc.
went out of home.
on the mrt
no body wearing pe t. except the sportz cca ppl. was thinking - dun tell me it's not thursday.
was worried. then saw sm1 at clementi. in band u. so sigh wif relief.
then forgot and wondered the same thing again.
met gen at redhill. was wondering if should go band rm direct.
went class.
crap ard.
went to find sheryan ask sth.
told me had to go band rm direct.
so went.
dumped things there.
crap ard.
was staring into the air, mind totally blank.
wait until bell ring.
went out pear8 square.
lalala.
announcement
natnal anthem.
pledge.
announcement.
they do stretching, we siam back in band rm.
crap ard.
prepare things.
set up instru n stand
take vest and tie and shoes out
shoe incident*
carry things up including percs
4th level
put instru down, crap ard.
then given time to go crap ard outside.
so went out
warm up.
crap ard
wait.**
warm up
crap ard.
carry instru down stairs.
play awhile.
carry back up stairs.
crap ard.
wait.
play abit.
wait long long.***
blow air to keep instru warm
got alot false alarm.
play hand games with mel, ivy, xing tong.
talk, whisper, shs
crap
wait
false alarm.
mel asked me - which door do we siam by?
i asked shermin - which door do we siam by?
she ask herself - which door do we siam by?
then crap ard.
then told us we sit and wait until the ppl leave then go.
then they boot choir out le...
guilty.
*shermin was trying to persuade yuting to swap shoes with her cause she take wrong shoe. then the shoe very gao1. then she tried to persuade mel. mel refuse. then whole sectn managed to persuade her to wear her own shoe.
*michelle took a wrong shoe also. then i got extra shoe. lent her.
**PAA super cold. freezing actually.
***the long long was actually abt 2hrs. very long sia.

playing.
1st time. stiff and un ok.

2nd time, flexible and ok.

after playing
they asked if we wanted to clear instru 1st or break 1st
everybody said, break!!!!!
so went down fot break.
went band rm.
had to return by time.
went to eat.
each for herself.
liling eat super fast and super alot.
em, gen, lJ, me jaws all drop.
went back to band rm.
low say need to clear rm now
got class wanna use.
tell me to tell others

went out to tell others
then siam upto clear instru.
took all stands and my horn down.
went up
took file and tie and mel horn down.
went up.
carry chair down. (4)
alot of congestn.
went up.
help carry timpani. big one.
em, peiting and me carry one.
then kana scratch by timpani.
em kana squash to the railings.
peiting was fine.
carry down.
then they in front of us xiao one.
wanteng, jean, theresa and 1 more ppl
carry one timpani smaller than ours.
jean went psychomatic.
laugh laugh laugh
congest the space.
went 2nd level
had timpani race.
see which timpani reach the other stairs 1st.
we won.
crap.
then they cut our road.
let them go 1st.
went down. tired.
nth up there lex.

stood inside.
listen to low.
leg was shaking like xiao.
then can feel.
then look down right,
was so obvious it was shaking.
was so shocked
jumped a bit and it shook more.
decided to sit down.
then leg was still shaking.
must be strained le.

crap ard
went back to class.
listen to khan crap for 1/2hr.
she left.
went to toilet change into sch u
almost sprain ankle in the toilet.
duno how
went to class
past 2c2.
sam run out
ask us sth.
then i put things down
went out,
she and em made us do the same thing as them.
johnny johnny johnny johnny wooosh johnny woosh johnny johnny johnny johnny
then took us like 15min to realise.
but only when they rounded up
cheryl, gen, and some other 2c2 ppl and do
it was crap.

went lunch
went band rm at 2.
waited for wanqi open door
went in
play instru
crap ard
clarise ask me help her polish.
fine.
polish abt 15min
went wash hand
play abit
realise they not taking warm up yet,
crap ard on e horn.
tuning
sectnals.
played arioso, concerto, big fun
together as a sectn.
without sy.
with her ard,
cannot play one.
then she come.
then make me and mel teach the sec1s
s'pore xperience
ok lor.
help le not long
sectnal playing.
play play play
sec1 cannot play.
she take them,
we play ourselves.
michelle and yuting playing drawing.
then me and mel crap ard,
sy give up le, make me and mel teach sec1 again
ok.
teach teach teach.
i was making clarise repeat the same thing over and over again.
feel guilty.
she got bad rhythm sense and pitch sense,
hum for her a, tell her hum a
she go n hum f.
three times the same thing.
then she managed it in the end la.
she nv make effort!!!
she can one.
but just she tend to let the rhythm slip out right after she claps it.
ok lor.
at least she knows more.
pack up. walk back to band rm
sy was saying mel and me teach very gd.
but praises do no one good.
then pack up.
usual routine.
dismiss then go home.
went mobil with lJ and azura.
bought sth to eat and drink
went bus stop.
crapped all the way home.

in bus 947
this person sitting behind me
phone ring
picked up
then was saying pretty woman ard.
sick lor.
who ask him comment?
i think now adays the ppl very wierd.

go home
showered
come out kana lecture by pap
exams no gd results
then ok ok lor.
i can concentrate on two things at a time lor.
sms and talk.
was smsing sm1.
then he force me to put down phone.
b4 put down muist keylock wad.
then he scold me for keylocking,
thinking i still smsing.
crap la.

new bottle of shaken pepsi.

2004-08-25T18:05:00.000+08:00

i was angry with sm1. but i forgot why. therefor, i shal not say anything..

anger flamed
through heart,
like blood
through a cut

crap. explainatn. the anger is showing, but not at full force. like blood, that flows out, visible, but not too serious.

i've been stung.

worried like duno wad.

2004-08-24T20:49:00.000+08:00

lalala. not happy. cause nose very annoying. cracked the bones together in sch. then pain. now it's givin me trouble

sun. applied for the singing thing. complete with training. starts i dunno when.

mon. crap ard. pe. did pft 5 things. 31 sit up. abt 16 incline. 11.15s shuttle.150cm jump. 35cm stretch. bad... totally. got lit dramatisatn. last min memorise and arg on the spot one. turned out terrific. bleah. nicole takes her role too seriously. it said that mr simms twisted cassie's arm and forced her onto the sidewalk. nicole really did that to me and i went OW! pain. then josef came in and our grp had no chance of hearing what chan had to say abt our grp's play.

today. got results. chi-55. teacher thought i was gonna fail. thought so too. cause din study. math 20 over 40. hahaha. not. alot of careless and duno!!!!! went home went westmall buy coffee!!! =o) whee finally got my ice sweet coffee. then walk to interchange, wanted to take the shorter route. but got ppl sitting, blocking the corridor, so dun wanna disturb them, so walk the slightly longer way. the scary thing was one of the ppl stare and stare and stare at me, so i stare and stare and stare back. then the scarier thing was he waved and smiled. i got so creeped out i practically jogged away. cause i duno who they were.eeps.

mom made me eat ham and egg sandwich. like i never eat b4. then the ham was sour. was eeped out. so left the other one alone.

slept until 7. would have slept longer if my pa hadn't onned the lights and offed my fan. i can't live without my fan. bleahx. but it causes me to sneeze.

then sis made me help her design b'dae invatatn card for her friend. was like why the hell you do it for her? she's taking you for granted. cause the girl was treating my sis like my sis is her servnt lidat.

fustrated la.

worried for sm ppl.

2004-08-22T02:36:00.000+08:00

i'm hungry.

hungry.

2004-08-21T23:42:00.000+08:00

sat.

.morn. father woke me up at 5.30 when i only had to go out at 6.30. bleahx. got to sch. very early.laze ard. sleep in the mind etc.

marching. quite ok. but gonna die next wk. i just know it.

combine. not bad. can play.

concerto. satisfactn. but can improve. memorized the ending.

arioso. gd. but can be improved more. sy mich not there yt play alone. 'solo'. then she got nervous brakdown, cannot play. i play with her. was loud. memorised the whole ending.

big fun. terrific. must improve most! memorized the rhythm.

mrs chua was saying horn sectn correct. 1st in a long long time. was smiling so much cannot play. got the articullatn very correct. except note too long. and sight reading summor. clarice, gd job. but must improve! practise! learn the myusik! whee... french horn, we so rock totally! yea.

almost pierced the mechanic pencil lead into my vein. now still got the mark. pain and scared.

dismiss the time step on my finger, super pain.

reach home. bend down pick some thing up. kana pierce in the back by needle. pain.

watch abit of table tennis. was just lying down thinking abt sm things, then fell asleep without knowing.got scolded by pap for not using alarm clock.

went tuition. was listening to reports on the situation of lee jiawei. were all anxious. realise there was an acsi person there. whst the world acsi ppl doing in tuition class? thought all very li hai one... nvm.

went home. watch table tennis. tired.

dinner. burnt tongue with pineapple acid. pain. can't eat or drink. miserable.

went ntuc with mom. saw chen jing yi. then was like lao shi. then she was like huh? then i point her out to my papa then my pap was giving this wierd face like really. father was being dumb. could load everything into the boot and save time then he dun want. insist on waiting for mom. dumb.

came home, on com. found sis. pa 'steal com from me. crap ard for 1 hr then decided to pester him to return com...

then found him trying to dissuade my sis from going church. she went to thi zion praise harvest place. i believe she won't be easily fooled even if that church is not right, which is 40 in 100 odds. he said she was weak minded. i believe not. was debating with him on the sub : going to church to experience is fine. my being the preposition, he being the opposition. nobody won.

mom was gunning(with her finger) her(sis) through the video cam. duno why. just felt like i had to block my mom's hand.
or my sis will get hurt on way or other. felt like i had to stop my dad too. cause he was saying all these things that evidently made my sis feel upset. she couldn't reply. i felt like i needed to make my parents let her have her own space and say what she wants.

succedded after 5 mins.

the pain is great.

2004-08-20T14:45:00.000+08:00

chinese oral duneed to say le. die le.

slap me awake.

2004-08-19T23:00:00.000+08:00

trying to stay up as late as possible, then look so tired tmr i'll be excused from going to school. my eyelids feel heavy now. but i won't lose two days of hard work. slept at 12 yest and the day b4. mayb abit later la. seriously. i need a break from my life.

2004-08-19T22:12:00.000+08:00

kjaskljv wijvjwalmhnbkjx ;kljsmll sijuvls;/vf khnxvk .

sos

aliens invaded my house and i need a place to run to. help me. i need help from this house full of aliens. i'm currently hiding in a secret place which i shall not mention just in case they are observing this blog. then they'll know where i'm hiding. and i'll be tken to their exotic species zoo for life

---

i now believe that being a psychologist can make you mad. maybe even more than your patients.

---

being very immature here. more so than a new born. i need new specs. i can't see properly and my degrees are 700r and 650l. sadist. being a sadist is... being nth. not existing.

---

i realise. that in my primary school, i wasn't a loser. i was part of the in ppl. not totlly, just friends of everybody except ppl who hate me or think i'm not being nice or being dao the figures. i could belong to the most popular clique without any effort. or even have tens of thousands of friends. just i choose not to. that's a smiling thought. at least i'm not a attn seeker. unlike sm1 at home.

---

i realise that i'm a loser. everytime i pick up the courage to tell sm1 what i'm unhappy abt, esp to close ones. like my jie. it's saddist world. for me. i pick up the courage, but the one i'm angry abt is near me. i can't say anything. then when i pick up the courage. i don't know what to say. and when i pick up my courage, i feel too hurt to say it out. i really cannot haldle my emotions anymore. i feel like a dam breaking a part. when one day, all the sea waters will flood the village of fears. and all my fears will float to the surface and everyone willread it and think with sympathy. this girl has all the small problems that end up large when added up together.

---

i hate her.

meaning me.

2004-08-18T21:32:00.000+08:00

whee hee. lala. first time got no prob blogging.

2004-08-18T13:59:00.000+08:00

to tear or not to tear

whee. not. yesterday tried to post. twice failed. cause blogger was being freaking against me.

friday. eckxams. din study. sux. el and lit.

saturday. play alone with two hope little ppl sec 1s. yep. fiefoerniek. can play loud. once loud only. no air. air management no good. bleahx. c and c are totally unhelpful. breathe at every bar atleast. except one or two times. concerto. lurved it........ nurul damn farnie. play the wrong part at the wrong place. then it blends in though. yeah. 1st time play. sec 1s also. think we'll die ritex?1 but NO..... not with the magnificent sight reader here... *bow left bow right*... hehe... crap. but was fortunate. was able to play quite well for 1st timer. yyyyyyep.

tuition. great. though had math block, managed to do the trigonomy thing and think of the wierdness of the questions b4 the others did. ya. half the questions all wierd wierd one. then teacher ask us to spot the wierdness. then me 1st one to spot.... yeah.... super. then someone open the door for me. haha. lame. crap. was too lazy to hold the door. so just went through without touching the door. then this person behind went and strech out and hold the door for me... haha... crap.

sunday. piano lesson. was ok. can play frere jaques properly le. except some part. so nice. then teacher gave me this paper. this invatation to go sing with some other students for the music school grand concert, wah... so honored... whee. lame. but need to ask mom. lazy to go though.

monday. eckzams. sux like seventh hell. din study well. 3 subjects. hist, sc,chi.

tuesday. eckzams. sux like first hell. can do both papers. but can't rmb how to make k the subject thing sux totally. dnt dun need to say le. yeah. use internet frm 7.20-12.30. haha. not 1st time so long le. then got order for tix frm a friend. guess how many... 7!!!! was like HUH?! cause 7 was alot. then turned out he help me tui1 xiao1. haha. feel bad. i only so far ask 5 ppl only. and only 2 told me they want. bleahx.... think i won't have enough tix. but nvm. can ask others for extra tix... lala... played solitaire for like how many times. then forgot to defragment the computer. haiz. next time use will sure slow like duno what one. lala.

today. wednesday. ran 2.4. din fail!!!!!!!! --D happy. but the rest of pft haven't do... was suppoed to do at 2.30 today. but crap la. tmr then do la. cause want someone to pei2 me do. then geko need to do also. but she cannot do today. then i lazy to do today. so do tmr lor. plus cherie want me go home with her. bleahx. will probably miss part of band tmr. but nvm. for laziness, it should be ok. hehe. crappppppp...... din fail chinese!!! lao3 shi1 say one. only got 4 ppl border line to failing. not me. so i shouldn't have failed. din study summor lor... fortunate... nicole was also like huh?! i din fail?! cause she got study wad.

lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala. crap. today i very studious you know. was studying and supplying answers. only cause i know. math also. i like the topic only. and i know how to do. so i can do. then do hmwk in class also. during break summor. so studious right? right.not. was very forgetful. forgot about collecting wksheets. so had to run all the way there to collect. almost kana killed by josef. almost couldn't collect the papers. freak him. geko also kana killed. lalala. whee hee. i just rmbed to collect the dramatization paper frm chan's pigeon hole. cause i was typing abt rmbing to collect wksheets. gd thing cherie insisted on coming here to blog. then i can blog. then i rmb.... hm... must lock in my mind to collect the paper. but first... where did i put my key...hm....

forgetfull...
studyfull....
memoryfull...
lalafull...
crapfull...

2004-08-17T20:04:00.000+08:00

WHAT THE WORLD!!!!!

crap./ type like so xin1 ku3. then select all then it gei2 wo3 delete diao4. what is the problem!!!!!!!!!

i dun come from the mad house. the world does.

2004-08-13T21:53:00.000+08:00

count down to 10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... silence............

lalala.

lives not fun.

common test.

big headache.

bleary eyed

go to sch

take exams

BLEAHX!

2004-08-07T22:03:00.000+08:00

wheezing. no good sign. terrible sign. was laughing at mr magoo. the show. just now laugh to death le. the mr magoo was supposed to be the farnie one. but i was laughing at the nephew. cause the nephew more blurrer. whee.... crap. not in a good mood. heh heh. gonna buy new music book tmr.... yoohoo. gonna buy classics. not. never. lalala. having a headache typing this. cause i can't see what i'm typing. gonna have worse degrees le. the eye. not studies.

2004-08-06T22:11:00.000+08:00

whee. got 2 ppl buying tix le. one is buy 2, the other one duno how many. tanx joelzy fur buying the tix. tanx peixuan for buying the tix too. tanx to both of you for agreeing upon my asking. thank you! you both are terrific ppl! thank ewe!!!!

2004-08-06T16:16:00.000+08:00

whee hee....... today played for speech day. damn fustrated with chee shan. tell her to sit beside my bell, she dun wan. gd la. then play wrongly la.

but nvm. that's sm news.

played SHREK DANCE PARTY!!!!! the one with the Y-M-C-A dadadadadada Y-M-C-A.... ya. then the audience were all singing
Y-M-C-A dadadadadada. but v farnie. cause we play a diff version. then they thought it was the same key the whole time. then we play higher abit then they like duno wad lidat. almost laugh lorzz... the we played 1 united ppl. then they were singing. only parts ofg it. cause the rest unfamiliar,

then after that, we cleared the place. was like so super fast. less than ten minutes everything carry down le. then today TOO MANY PPL were up there lor. when yesterday only got abt 10. so surprising. everybody cannot believe lorzz...

ya. joined the class. then g0t community singing. but very farn. cause we this grp of crazy ppl siting together and singing. then out of key and tune and time and rythm. very farnie. the 'player' play, then we sing. but everytime sing toofast one.

i dun like ms who-ever-that-is. cause the C-R-E-S-C-E-N-T was supposed to be a crez STUDENT thing. where the sec4 shout 1st then the other levels ans. then she shout lor. what does she think she is lor? she's not a crez STUDENT. it's the only thing we can organize ourselves without time and she snatch the chance away frm the sec 4s lor. i dun care lor. nxt time i sec 4 le even if she starts one, i'll not ans and gather a few frens and shout our own one. plus she din do the 'i can't hear you' thing.

lalalalalala...... yeah. got one person confirm buying the tix to crez concert le. but i have no idea how to pass the tix to him and he pass the $ to me. but nvm. will figure that out when i get the tix nd he states how many he wants. haix. sleepy, but not really sleepy. xianx la. actually. orh ya....

Grande de Symphonique

staring : Crescent Girls School Symphonic Band

guest band : Nanyang Band

venue : VCH

date : 23 october

aim : To raise funds for crez band members to go thailand to compete in a competition and to have workshops to improve the band further

amount : $15/ticket

must buy tix hor. but hor!!!!! support crez band!!!!!

2004-08-01T15:33:00.000+08:00

to tear or not to tear

sitting on the dark tree branches
she cried for fear of falling
into the darker abbeyss(?)
beneath the breaking branch

souls sreaming in the abbeyss(?)
for the eternal drop they were in
she heard their wraif like voices
and tried to climb to the top

the branches creaking threateningly
she fleet footedly climbed
hurrying to get away
for the abbeyss of everlasting fall

struggling to climb
the long lasting climb
the darkness catching up
with the tired trembling her

she climbed faster
than she ever did
then right before her eyes
she saw a gleaming gate in the light

now running to the gate
she cried out sanctuary
the gates remained closed
to her and her tears

her tears of fear fell on the locks
of the gates that remained so closed
forcing it open
so so unwillingly

the tears she shed moved the locks
so much they opened
wider than it had
before they ever had

the darkness now behind her
the souls shierking
for their loss of the new company
that they would have gotten

if the gatea had not opened
to save her from the gloom
she would have had to endure
the fall of eternity

awaiting for the day
she was kicked out
of sanctuary so good
it waited at the borders

for one day no matter what
she would be kicked out of the gate
which let her in
so unwillingly

to save her from the eternalty
of listening to
the moans and wails
of the souls in need...

tired. nth to say. brain drained. from typing the above words. thought up by. the tired person who has nth to do here.

2004-07-30T20:34:00.000+08:00

to tear or not to tear

me doing the webbie all by my little self. i'm giving a confession. i used this blog template to do my pbl webbie. minus sth. pathetic lor. eating dinner and using com at the same time. 1st time my father nv scold me for eating in the study rm.the phone rang.i picked up the fax phone.then the receiver very hot.i din know, so i put on my ear and almost burnt it(my ear. not the phone.)

lalala... tiring. work until 1 on tuesday, frm 4.30AM this morning until 5.50AM. then now working again. sigh...

must learn how to endur.

i tiny-nized my letterings, see if you can read. if you read at least 2, preferably 3, you need new glasses.

2004-07-25T22:05:00.000+08:00

to tear or not to tear

crimson river of tears

emerald pool of fear

ruby pit ot words

raven sky of emotions

sapphire sea of anger

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

the lynch mob in my heart went to lynch an irritating someone whom i detest and dislike.

though i know i should never think this way, i have thought this way and now it's too late.

i will carry on until the lynch mob in my heart decides to go away and not bother me again until a long time later.

a long time later after a long time later, the lynch mob will come back with addition and more ppl to lynch.

when the lynch mob become so huge, there will be so many ppl to lynch that my heart will be filled with it.

when my heart is filled with it, i will not be able to find a space to love again.

when i cannot find a space to love again, what use will my existence be?

when even my existence is useless, why should i even exist?

when i don't exist, will you miss me?

if you don't, then i will cease to exist without any worries.

for when i don't have worries, i know i'm lost to the lynch mob.

now i realise, after typing so much, that i desperately need a lynch mob dismisser to help me dismiss the lynch mob in my heart.

i realise that i cannot always be the lynch mob dismisser to others.

but

perhaps this is the life of a lynch mob dismisser.

to dismiss and collect lynchers forever until another comes to aid.

i need a lynch mob dismisser. before i cease to exist

2004-07-25T20:53:00.000+08:00

to tear or not to tear

DUMDIDUMDIDUMDIDUMDIDUMDIDUMDIDUMDIDUM!

trying to DEAFEN MYSELF cause i can hear my sisters still even when i'm BLASTING THE PLAYER in my ears. think i need a LOUDER player. i'm blasting the STUPID thing into my ear and i STILL can hear them. think i shall find music that i'll get a HEADACHE with. headache better than THEIR NOISE POLLUTION.

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

sizz lor... i hate this whatever it's called.
i hate my sister because she's looking into my screen and when i say dun look into my screen she say i'm looking at my plane. i dun like her and i am nicer than she is. i dun like her.

got promoted le la... for saturday. cause mel din come,then clarice take her place and yt need to coach her. so i got promoted for some ongs. actually it's only one. but i already got promoted alot le la. usual songs i got promoted alot le.
last time i play the lowest horn one now i promoted to 3rd and 2nd le. first i still cannot play, cause no volume, no stamina, no confidence, can't reach high notes well. ahya... not to be ego la, but i can reach high f well le, better than michelle. ahya. know you prob think i'm being ego la. so nth to say.

2004-07-18T22:12:00.000+08:00

to tear or not to tear

crap la... i've been angry for like how long? quite.

yesterday my sister tried to break my finger by almost slamming the car door when my hand was there. then today, she tried to kill me by tripping me when she knew i was not very ok and might fall down anytime.

another sister tried to sing me to death yesterday night.

now super xianz. cause i cannot rmb things. nah... not bcaus of that. because i'm xianz.

HARHARHARHARHARHARHARHAR!

nth.

2004-07-16T22:48:00.000+08:00

to tear or not to tear

lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala

...

crap la... i think my mom has a wierd mind. she thinks i think i'm fat and she thinks i'm overly skinny. which is like erm........

i decided to dao lijin cause she's being a big mean person.

she cheat me lor.i asked her if she could help me photostat the math paper, then she say ok. after band, go home the time, i went to ask for the paper. then she say dun have. cause i din pass her the photocopy card. come on lor... she said ok! then after i went mobil and went to the bus stop, she say she got photocopy. then i was like so 'fan2' already. then i ignored her, cause i hate ppl doing this kinda joke on me. then today, i asked for the photocopied, she tell me dun have. what kind of person is this lor?! cheat me lor. as in really cheat lor. i am like so disappointed in her. what is her freaking problem?!

is it worth being upset over this kind of person? my ans is yes.

2004-06-11T22:54:00.000+08:00

to tear or not to tear

azura!!! you gave me too much credit...
if you hadn't asked me, i'd die also...
so that's why i must also thank you.

smartkids camp

2004-06-09T22:03:00.000+08:00

to tear or not to tear

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..........................

got back from the last day of camp resourcing for abt 30 mins le...

yea... so fun...

let's start from the first day............

monday 7june
whee... yep aunt theresa said to get there by 7.15. so i got there by then. he big problem was this... there was no one else there except one camper(kheng sheng). the other rresouces also not there. yep. then i was like ok...... ya. so called aunt theresa. she told me to go into the gallery first. but very guai... so waited outside. then got two ppl(gerard and green) come la... didn't know who they were until later. ya. then ya. they went in and i was going in and out and in and out. then gave up and waited outside for aunt theresa. abit pathetic la... but hey! i didn't know what to do!
then aunt theresa and dr wong came. then went in with them.ya. so now got aunt theresa, dr wong, gerard, green and me in the gallery. oh. plus that camper... wait... plus somemore ppl. uh... got uh... uh... eric and angela and penny and esther and another admin person. then wan and marc came, then the campers started pouring in... i went and ask aunt theresa what to do, then she say check with green or gerard. then check lor. my task. to stick up all the posters. with penny, marc, and themselves. lets see. in the end green went to take the tables and the equalizer, gerard went to take dunno what. left like 3 of us. but ya. it's fine. cause it was simple task.

abit sian le... nvm... fast forward..

got sian. did work fast, then got nth to do except tack the posters back when it drop, which is often. very often. first day a bit xian la... but alo of games for them. me and esther take one grp. the rest take one group each. cause not enough grp for me to take. yup. so my grp got no girls. at first. got kenmin, pema, clarence, jonathan, edgar and 3 other guys, who i haven't rmb the names la... then dr wong placed 3 girls in each grp. so got 5 boys, 3 gals. the 3 girls and diyanah, weiling(the one who knows boxing... jk.) and celest. all very quiet at first. only jonathan loud. then slow ly, the other way round. so they did the lessons, cooking, had 2teas and lunch and dinner. they complained abt the food. alot.(the rice is hard, dun like tomatoes... alot alot excuses.) ahya... skip day 1 la... xianz... add some more. the grp was named matrizx, esther and me did alot of the work, cause they dunno. then write on flip chart paper.

tuesday 8june

did vocab, wrote on flip chart paper also. did alot of things. the kids were so out of hand ernest called for TTP... i was like huh? green was like yes sir. ok. can tell they both very pissed off. asked green what ttp was. cause i nv got it b4. he said, it short for total truth process. where they single a kid out andreprimand them. truthfully. so ya. kids did speed reading and eye fixation thingy. but alot failed. very disappointed. oh ya... ther's this guy who's supposed to teach the kids abt health food. first day, banana. 2nd, soy beans so he became the banana man and mr bean... meeting after the campers left. at abt 8.until 8.45.ya. crap. so decided which kid must do, which one can cancel off the list. there's this hiroshi, super hyper one. so had to pull him out la... but cannot do a normal ttp on him. must do soft one. cause he's the small small kind of kid. plus angela(not angla from 2c3...) likes him alot. cause he very cute..so ya.. alot cancel out le...

today 9june
reached early. earliest. except for kheng sheng. again. doors ,locked. so waited outside. jonathan came also. then eric came and said that the ppl in charge were coming to open the doors. waited for a little while. was wondering how come he dun bring bag, still got pencil case, all the junk food and all. learnt after that he's bag leave in the gallery, the junk food all stuff in the bag... went into the gallery, looked around. found out that all the papers drop. aw... all! ALL!!!! so, both sighed alot, complained alot, then took the tape, went to tape it up. tore out the old tape from the papers, tore up the paper. all the paper, whether me or eric tear one, all got torn. very paiseh... tape up, tape up, run out of tape le. so had to wait until ernest come. sandeep called to tell him we needed abt 2 more rolls of tape.
wait wait wait. then finally come. then took the tape, went with eric to paste again. then paste until very messy. cause no choice wad... other wise will drop easily... then stick stick stick./ had to stick the up there one. he's taller than me alot ma... so he go up lor. cause he can't even reach the top the top, how i reach? ya. so, he almost fell down the chair. went psycho taping the papers up. took stapler, stapler like 10-11 staplets per edge of the paper. so stick stick stick... very ke lian....
the green came in, saw our 'masterpiece' and went, 'ahya! why so messy? must neater alot! like one tape connect two papers together, then get another two to secure it!' then we argue argue argue. cause spend alot of time taping the papers up and now he wants us to redo. in the end, he won. we rest a while first, then went back to taping. tape until very czam...ya. then tape almost all le, then green come back and say, 'aunty theresa sa use thumb tacks. more secure.' wa... at that moment felt like strangeling him lor. like spend so much time, so much risk(for eric), so much effort, he say use thumb tacks. so, stop work and went to invigilate.
then ya. had ttp. had to help eric with the lights. cause not enough hands. got four switch, he got 2 hands only. how? help lor... so... my job, was to wait for green's third bang(of fist or hand), then off some of the lights outside the lights room with eric. ya. had to write some pts abt why we wanted to reprimand the person we were going to. so, not as to let the kids see(it'll be a surprise to them...), we did the pts in the lights room. felt like strangling nicodemus(howeva his name is spelt.) he didn't do his stuff! so ya. slack around in the lights room. learnt that eric hit ernest in his face cause ernest hit his face. so ya. violent past... ya. then, saw esther and felt bad... like she doing all the work, i'm slacking away. so went out and helped her... then played 'bomb'!!!! ok. marcus is a traitor. he told his group that they could bomb the resource(which is all of us in charge of helping). then we got bombed. he bombed us also lor. ya. so, we left the kids, formed a group and saboed alot of group... yea... then cheer time. matrix was loud! loud! so loud i could hear them at the other end of the gallery. actually is esther and me make them shout one. the girls were shouting the loudest, then the guys, onyl ken min shouted! i was like going, where are the rest!!! ya. so... hope they do well tmr... then ya. ttp. green supposed to distract the kids from thought of punichment. then eric and me rushed into the lights room for the light switches. then were freezing in there. green, i have to hand it to him. crap alot alot the alot the alot. and i can go on with alot.was like darn tired. and panicking when he went behind the wall, so cannot see when he's gonna hit la... then finally...... the third hit came and it was dark. cause eric hit like two extra switches. orh... yep... stayed in there awhile, then went out.green's speech, along with everybody elses was so true and touching that i cried, though i was not one of the kids.

ooo... now got buffy... i think... crap... nvm... continue...

then they were like passing tissues to me. but my crying was not that bad la. so reject lor. cause the kids need it more tan i do. esp raymond. he was crying like nuts! jonathan also. the kids who got scolded, i rmb only two cried. jonathan and xavier. but they dun repent la. lets see. alot of the resources who scolded felt really bad and guilty, including upset. which is practically all the resources, including the ones who didn't do anything except shout at them to sit up straight, look in front, don't fidget etc. i think the most traumatized resource was eric. he was practically sick after the whole ttp. skipped all the meals. ya... so... green was also very upset. my right shin was hurting badly after that. cause it was 1 and half hr. and i was standing throughout. but by dinner, everyone was almost back to normal. my shin was still hurting. yep. i was tackled by green cause i knew the chicken dance and won't show them how to. cause they wanted the kids to do. ya. let's see what was injured. my dignity, my right wrist and my left ankle. plus my shin, which was already very pain. the number of times green almost killed me was 3. first, when he was leaping over the chairs. 2nd, when he tackled me, third, when he tried to get the other resources gang up against me and make me eat loads and loads of vegetable. so if i'm murdered, first suspect: green. ok... just jk... yup. so the kids were quite traumaed.by dinner, eric was better. abit. yup. then the kids 'settled down' and did a bran usage test. yup. then while ernest talked to them, the resources marked the papers. ya.

my shin still pain.

me and esther finish first, cause we split the pile. the paper very confusing for the markers. hor hor hor. then dance time! the kids were like yay. until they learnt it was the chicken dance. were every reluctant. got alot didn't do la. but they'll get it lor. green was telling us during dinner, that he's gonna be leadng it cause he wanted to make it up to the kids. guessed the kids had fun though they didn't want to do it...

ok. my shin hurts like nuts!!! help!!! nvm...

yup. so that's abt that.

feel like doing a ppl analysis. ok. shall do it for the other resources.(i wonder if marix will miss me when i'm not there tmr... hm...)

esther: my big jie jie! yep. caring person. very nice, patient, systematic, good person. yep. yeah! the kids loved her! she is very very good with children. yeah!

penny : my 2nd jie jie. she was as lost as me one the first day too. except that she knew everyone else. yeah. yup. took very good care of everyone carable. yep. she had to reprimand illene and she was super super guilty abt it. she a great person.

green: serious+unserious. can switch from this two modes very quickly. very good with kids. all the kids are like his brothers and sisters. when needed, he can be very strict. very very strict. but inside he's a good guy who just want's the best for those kids out there.

eric: abit hard to say abt the seriousity part. cause go everywhere his face also same one. unless he smile, laugh or frown etc la. which means that his face is blank one. ya. a nice bloke la. cares alot for the kids, and hates stretching(learnt this for the taping of the paper). junk food addict.

wan: yeah! nice guy who came all the way frm malaysia to help ernest with the camp. yup. very nice. can tolerate kenneth. dunno how he do that one. i can't lor. had to take over his grp for a while just now. yup. caring and very nice person.

marcus: the one who didn't mind when i stepped on his shoes, which were under the table .. yup. so. nice la. tease proof one. i have no idea why, but green, eric, sandeep, gerard all call him jie jie.

sandeep: nice person. loud, dunno what else to say, cause din know him well.

gerard: ok. like dun care dun care one... his grp can't even rmb his name! come on la... but is a nice bloke also.

still got alot, but i'm not sure of the names and their characteristics. there were only 3 female resources... haiz... but nvm... so ya... that's that. gd nite. very sleepy and pain(shin).

2004-06-04T20:23:00.000+08:00

to tear or not to tear

waaaaaa...long time no online liaoz...hor.after that post la...hehe...but still long time!lalala///nth happened tdae..nth much.

yesterday die lo...
ya.went to sch at 11.30,meet em and sam.then sam came late 15min.nvm...then went to me class do sth.won't say here.but nth bad...assuringly...thenwent for lunch with gen.then saw sm band ppl there.then they panic abit.then forget it le.went in,bought sth to eat,then sat and ate(duh).then was reading.theytalking.lost track of time.then took cab back to sch.we were like giving uncle 5bucks and it was 4.then said dun need change.haha...so was late by 2min.need run 2rounds.--b.

panic wor.wheng go into band rm. mrs chua was there!!!diex lor.was like so pai seh.mel also late wor.so only got the 2 sec1s.sori hor,sec1s!so ya.rush in store rm and took out instru.put it down on chair.then rush to cupboard to take stand etc.then me and mel wait for the ok to join in.was like sooooo pai seh.whole sec 1 and 2 level staring at us all.so ya.sat down.then tuning.tuning very gd 2dae.sec 1s tune properly le.yay!applauses!ok.crap.so ya.

break.then em tell me shermin say do 10 push up.then got confused.then asked both peiting and shermin.then they quarrel as to izzit run or push up.in the end is run la.haix.

then sec3s come in after break.then play blues factory,i will follow him and fanfare vol2 no1.got lost in the fanfare.whole section din play...hahax.so ya.very big oops.panic for blues.cause mel asked:me,en and michelle play 3rd,then you(yuting) play 1st,who play 2nd?then we panic panic panic.find find find.haha lor.then mrs chua was like waiting for us while yuting searched for it.still so paiseh...ya.then...for i will follow him,also panic.cause no one playing 1st.then this time din wait le.they started then mel asked about the 1st part.--b...then we were like hehe when the part for 1st horn was silent.ya.i got lost.so skipped part a.came in at b.then was like super paiseh then.guess why? cause i was like the ONLY ONE who was playing the higher melody for the horns at that part.mel was playing also.lower by one octave only.then i slipped halfway and couldn't play again...sobz...so ya.sigh...ah!!!!freaking want to cry liaoz...can't reach f# for i will follow him.sigh.(but got one thing farnie abt that song.when i was small,i used to hear this song.then they'll go'i'll follow,i'll follow'etc.then i thought it was'a polo,a polo'haha.got laughed at.--b)so ya.was upset la.ya.so.then mrs chua wanted to go through some songs.(ketchup song,big fun in the sun etc.)then mostly is because our section no score then din play one.oops.but the ketchup song very farnie.guess what?the whole stack of scores gone le.everyone went huh?!!!ya so.crap la!

wan to cry le.now listening to princess mononoke(i think).very nice.and gan dong.cause got alot of feeling...ok. crapz!!!

nth le.

yoohoo...

2004-05-29T17:37:00.000+08:00

to tear or not to tear

saturday 29/05/2004 abt 3.30
yea... played badminton with me dad. actually is i pester him to play with me one. so....... ya.

we play and play and play. like 5rounds. then the wind was against me which ever side i took. so i din care abt it...

so......

then abt 15min into our game, two ppl came(later knew that they were aunt and nephew). ya. so, my dad, being the nice guy, let them use the other half of the court. then the aunt(joyce) asked if we wanted to play doubles. so ya. ok lor... but i suck at doubles... i suck at individual too.

so, me dad and joyce one side, the nephew(stephen) and me one side. then hit here hit there... i was like the odd one out. cause i was the only one who couldn't hit properly(always use the metal edge to hit) and to start properly(always hit straight. otherwise extra out.). ya. so ya the guy hit so lihai lor. like whack and less than a blink of the eye, it's over the other side. ya... so play play play.

the joyce decided to swap partner. so, she team up with stephen(who looks like joycelyn) and me and me dad teamed up. so we play and play and play. then the guy hit so hard the shuttlecock went into the tree. so we ended up using our ones. which suckm cause it's too light and ya. easy to hit. so... then we play and play and play... then me dad whack so hard the guy try towhack it back. then almost sprained his back.

ya... so......... nth wrong la. so continue playing. then the more i play the worser i become. cause got not so much stamina le ma... but i learnt how to whack from the bottom. and not downward. after dunno how long...

so... he also slow down le... then joyce asked him if he tired hor, which is so obvious, he was like so ego... like say no and then add you know what? 'i worried later injure them.' har! think we so easy injured. crap! yea... so continue playing. then like almost 5.30, then the guys both went to rest. so left e and joyce. so we played. against each other and i sucked!!! could practically hear the insolent guy sniggering lor. hey! i know i suck at badminton, but at least i admit and try wad...

so........ after afew rounds, then me dad said time to go le. so went lor. ya. though very tired by the time gone home, but ya. still very fun lar... run here run there, jump here jump there. yup. so... ya... nth to say le. so shall acct for the days before... yea...

saturday 29/05/2004 morning

yea. so had marching at 7.30. so whole family drive me there. wa... so honored... ok... jk only... but ya... so reach school early la... so crapped around... then jumped about with sam. then ya. on and on. crap.
marching. fun. sectional marching. shuangying taking.michelle lost voice. yuting dunno. new way of doing ki-kiri/ka-kanan pusing. turn234pull2lift2BANG! haha. laugh alot. crap around. peiting almost hit me when doing keluar baris(turn234check234leftrightleft) so got paraniod. very easy get paranoid. also did keluar baris. din do properly. but shuangying let us off. got 5min break. rush tobag to take out sy present and rushed into stroeroom. open sy case and put prezzie inside. rush out set up stand etc. went back in store for horn. came out. put horn on chair. opening stand, sy say thankyou. then ok. continue open stand. was blur that time. din know thank for what. so said huh? then nvm. then settle down. shermin took scales etc. got lost at scales study some part. got lost at arpeggios got lost at intervalstudies and got ost abit at tenuto etude. so. very bad right? yea.
mrs chua took us under the bridge. then me horn almost got wet. sobz. ya. so. mrs chua took all i ask of you and stupid mistake. all i ask of you sounds more reasonable than usual. so. very nice. i like mel's part for stupid mistak. it's so nice lor. her part. i play 2nd. but i wan play 3rd. but can't always get what you want.

dunwanttowritebeforetodayle.lazytotype.goingtomalaysiale.tomorrowgoingla.soya.untilwednesday.10juneacjcconcert!imustgo!cannotdungo!it's2obucksandacjcisoneofthetopbands,innit?yeayeayea!so.knowhowtosingupsidedown.fornothing.butlikethesong.verycute.sobyebyeuntilifindinternetexcesssomeday.sobz.iwantostayonlinelonger.butsleepy.haiz.butshallfinishtypingsoonle.soya.seeyouallonthursday?ifyoucometoschool.

lit script

2004-05-26T22:22:00.000+08:00

to tear or not to tear

read this!

Antigone

Characters:

Main:
Oedipus
Tiresias
Liaus
Jocasta
Creon
Sphinx

Extras:
Scribe
Eteocles
Polynices
Antigone
Ismene

(in the garden)

Oedipus: (wonders aloud) are the rumours true? Am I really not my father’s son?(sigh)

(at Delphi, where the prophet lives)

Oedipus: hello? Anybody there? (walks deeper inside) hellooooo…

Tiresias : (high pitched voice) What… (clears voice, now deeper) what do you want?

Oedipus: (pleadingly) Please Tiresias. Please tell me who I really am. Are the rumours that I have heard, that I am not polybus’s biological son, really true?

Tiresias : (solemnly) I am afraid I cannot tell you that. Because I do not understand your very profound language. But this I can tell. Do not. I repeat, do not ever go back to your native land. For if you do, you will murder your father and lie with you mother.

Oedipus: Oh thank you sir! I shall remember your words! Farewell!

Tiresias : (back to high voice) All the best my dear!

(on the way out)

Oedipus: (says to self determinedly) I shall leave Corinth forever and never return. I do not want to hurt my family.

(at the crossroad of Corinth and Thebes)
(Oedipus tries to pass Liaus and his escorts)

Oedipus: (to Liaus) Excuse me sir. I am in a hurry and need to cross over.

Liaus : (loftily) You dare ask me to let you pass?! (sits up straight and adds proudly) Do you know who I am?! You step out of the road!

Oedipus: (trying to control anger) No, I don’t know who you are and I don’t care the least bit. Let me past now!

Liaus : (furiously) You insolent… creature! How dare you?! Move aside! I have priority!

Oedipus: (even more furiously) Ha! Then see my powers! Heyyyya! (martial arts pose)

Liaus : Hoiii (pose differently)

(Then both charge and fight)
(Oedipus one against many)
(streams of curses)  censor/nc16 sign is showed
(one of Liaus’s escort escapes)

(in the palace)

Escort : (frantically) Sir!!! The king is dead! He has been murdered!!!

Creon : (loudly and shocked) WHAT?! What the (beep) were you doing huh?!

Escort : (white faced and breathes harder) I… I…

Creon : GAURDS! EXC UTE HIM!!!

Escort : NO!!!!! ( sound fades away)

(Creon is crowned. Blows kisses and waves to crowd.)

(Outside Thebes sometime later)

Sphinx : (stage whisper) Haha. No one, dead or alive shall ever pass me while I sit here. Not until someone solves my darling riddle. Oh how I love my riddle. So far, ten men have died trying. I’m bloated. (clears throat and says loudly) Announcement to all Thebians! I will destroy Thebes in three days! Unless. (smugly) Someone solves my riddle. Muahahahaha! (coughs and mutters in hoarse voice) excuse me. (pops strepsils into mouth)

(In the palace)

Creon : (frantically) Oh dear. Who is clever enough to solve the riddle of the sphinx? Scribe? Come here. Now!

(scribe rushes forward with arm load of paper and prepares to write)

Creon : Whoever can solve the riddle of the sphinx…

(scribe struggles to write nicely while standing up)
(drops paper all over the place)

Creon : You klutz! I’ll do it myself. Now leave me.

Scribe : (sighs with relief) as you wish, you majesty.

(In front of all Thebians)
(Jocasta stands meekly beside Creon)

Creon : (loudly) Attention! Whoever solves the riddle of the er… (jocasta whispers in his ear) sphinx will be king over Thebes and er… (thinks hard) ahh! Shall marry my wonderful, lovely, adorable, charming, sweet-tempered, modest (Jocasta makes a pose for each adjective)…. sister, Jocasta!
(Appears Oedipus with cape billowing)

Oedipus: (heroically steps forward) I shall oomph! (trips over cape and falls flat on face. Recovers quickly) I shall solve the riddle! Free Thebes! Attain the crown and marry Jocasta and rule over Thebes! Muahaha! Oops. (to sphinx) So, Sinks… What…

Sphinx : (politely cuts in hoarsely) Sphinx.

Oedipus: (rolls eyes) Fine. So… what may be your riddle that has confounded all of Thebes, Finks?

Sphinx : (indignantly) Sphinx! Not finks! Not sinks!

Oedipus: Whatever. Uh… (tries to pronounce properly) Sf… Sf… Sphinx… the riddle?

Sphinx : (smiles devilishly, acts menancing) what stands on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon and three in the night?

Oedipus: (mumbles incomprehensively to himself)…

Sphinx : (chants mickingly) Oedipus can’t answer! Oedipus can’t answer…

Oedipus: (smugly) Man.

Sphinx : (stops chanting abruptly) what?! This can’t be! No! (runs of to self destruct)

Oedipus: (victorious sigh and to no one in particular) See? I told you I would answer the riddle if the finks, free Thebes, marry Jocasta and take over Thebes from that pompous Creon.

Creon : (pretends not to hear last few words, smiles at Oedipus and invites him in) Hail the new king! He has freed Thebes from that horrible, obnoxious, evil, mean, beastly, malicious sphinx! Yay! Yoohoo! Partay! (strikes up music and dances with all of Thebes)

Jocasta : (swoons to oedipus) oh my hero!

(Jocasta and Oedipus runs to each other in slow motion)
(marries)
(‘family’ portrait of Jocasta, Oedipus, Polynices, Eurydices, Antigone and Ismene)

--------------------

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http://www.crush007.com/love.cgi?id=1085323349hrs

2004-05-24T19:45:00.001+08:00

to tear or not to tear

http://www.crush007.com/cd.cgi

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2004-05-23T21:01:00.000+08:00

to tear or not to tear

lalalalalalalalala. crapz~ lala. nuts. ignore me. don't!

ya. so today, me father insisted on driving me to my music school, so ok. then me sisters piled into e car and they went screaming, 'where's my dolphin?!' 'where's my seal?!' where's my seat belt?!' 'why you sitting on my seat belt?!' and so on. ya. so, then, when we reached jurong east, me father was looking for carpark and he went round and round and round. ok. not so bad. round one time, then he found it. then was trying to find me way to e music centre from the carpark. then couldn't. so me mom came with me. so. ya. then was on the wrong level. then lazy to walk stairs. though only one level above. took the lift. then e door open, stepped in, press 4, closed the door, then was in complete darkness. couldn't even see me own hand when it was right in front of me face. ya. so i panicked and closed my eyes and tried to push all thought out of my brain. i'm afriad of total darkness. and the lift was clunking all the way up. ok. that's only one level up. but it was still scary ok...

ya. then i was late. by one minute. then the teachr not there, so waited for another one minute. i think.

ya. so, then i was fine for my second piece wich i think totally sucks. so ya.

so, went for quick lunch, which was very quick, fifteen minutes or so. then went to westmall library, cause lijin wanted to go, cause rumours of someone she likes exists there... in the end wait for like one hour for her. ya. one hour!!!! ok. nvm. i'm fine about that. very xian though. then walked around, in and out the library, here and there of it and on and on. ya. for one hour.haiz. in the end got so bored left. then she was on her bus when i left. so i dunno what she's gonna do when she gets there.so......

ya. then went home, watched the 'sword in the stone' is't a funny and cute vcd. ok. that's lame actually... so.....

then, at 3.22, my sister went, 'pa!!!! i need to get to school at 3.30!!!!!' ya. i was like huh?! you get to school at 3.30 now then you tell pa?! actually i was thinking that. not saying it. ya. so....

me father rushed downstair, me and me other two sisters also rush downstair, into the parking lot, in to the car, then me father drive to me sister school, st anthony, cause we live near there la... yeah. then me father drive home to pick me mom up. cause we wanted to go to the botanic gardens to listen to this band playing. dunno what band that is la. actually is me sister go with her school la. only the top 10 in class get to go... ermz......... ya. so.... we rounded round singapore. like from buklit batok to bukit timah, to pie, to toa payoh, to geylang rd, to kallang rd(?), to orchard, then was like panic. then mom saw the sign tha says hollnd rd. then we sigh for relief. then we saw the sign for 'botanical gardens'. then we were like forget it la! quite irritated by the sign lor. look like ages liao. actually is 1hr45min...then we decided to go me aunt book shop. quite near ma... ao went there. aunt not in book shop. so... we ate there and pestered me mom to buy chicken pie. the chicken pie there is fabulous! really. so. ya. ate le then go window shopping. then saw this t-shirt. super nice. so bought it. ya. bought the same size as me pap cause got no smaller size, then liked that shirt super much. so just bought it lor... ya.......... so..........

went home, got less problem. took half to one hour to get home. yea. wierd right. so.... went me aunt plade cause me sister reaching school liaoz.... so... went to find the dog!!!!! a jack russel. so cute lor. very small also. keep following me cousin around. literally at his heels lor. haha. so got no chance to stroke it. only when i first reached me aunt place. so... it ran away... went to find me cousin grlfren. so got tired of chasing the dog around went and watch the fish. then the fish was like 'blobbing' at me was staring back at it. got xian liao, so went to be a couch potato... ya. then went down in like half an hour. chase me sister down the stairs from level 6. not so xian liao. cause was chasing hre and tring to shut her up. she was squealing. and screaming and shouting. so. went home. then watch some tv, then now here lor.

so... very xian...... now crapping around the net as usual. and listening to 'princess mononoke'. that how you spell it?

oh ya. when was going home, was going to ask me sister how was the music. then accidentally say, 'how was the da- music?' almost say darling cause me and hG discussing abt lJ's darlings. as in only one of the twelve. only can rmb like 6 of them. b, d, l, her miaow, the sassy flute guy and the clarinet player. who else arh?

so nobody caught the clinch in what i said. oh ya. just learnt this new word. 'clinch' or izzit 'glinch'? or 'clingh'? abit confused liao... so nvm... ya. also borrowed this completely bnoring book that is totally wierd. and the story has no linkage to the title. except the first 4/5 pages. so gave up for the time being. the book is called 'the ringmaster's daughter'. so ya. haven't finish, so can't give full comment about it. so... bb. going to drift around. --P

-9.42pm-

2004-05-21T16:05:00.000+08:00

to tear or not to tear

ah!!!! i didn't bring my ticket home!!! my njc ticket!!!!! i place it in my wallet so i won't forget it. but in the end, i forgot my whole wallet!!!!! ah!!!!! now waiting for lijin's notice. if she gets it before 6, then i can go. if not, i'm gonna get stuck at home with nth to do and have to watch my sister and i have to lose 10 bucks!!!!!!!!

wohoo!

2004-05-20T20:17:00.000+08:00

to tear or not to tear

my head. ok. so... i got 55/110 for english and 105/200 for chinese. midyear only. it's gonna pull down my grades. lets see... i failed my compo, my compre and passed my sujmmary by 1 mark and my letter by 3. terrigible, innit?

i got my ACJA ticket! the ticket so chio. thin thin long long. can't wait for 10th june. lisa was telling us when we went to collect the tickes that the circle seats were actually or conductors of other bands. then we were like, ermz... haha. then lisa told us to go there early, so we would all be able to seat together(free seating) and then we won't be sitting amongst the conductors. how wierd would it be? you go to a concert and you're sitting amongst conductors... haha. nuts. but ya. to day was a disaster. i forgot to bring my band file... sobz... so had to share with mel. like the old timez... --D then we played march 'together'. the sec ones were complaining about the number of notes, the 'highness', the longness. i got so irritated by them, i told them to take a look at 'wind and tree'. the first piece mel and i played and compare it to march'together' it makes the latter seem chicken. so, in the end, they gave up and played. play a while, stop and complain. haiz... they not yet used to the french horn meh? every time must go ow ow ow... sighz... lets see. their tuning is out. but no tuner. so can't tune. i think i also out abit. i was like so shocked when i played at first, cause i expected myself to suck at it cause i haven't practise for like ten thousand years. i was panicking when band going to start, cause mel not there yet and i dun have file and annie was there. scared later get scolded like naughts. haiz... so dragged time. then, practise with mute. then i play. then i made mel prac with it. then she was like blasting with the mute. was like 'wah!!!' cause i couldn't really hear myself play when she was playing. mel is gonna turn out to be a superb horn player. provided she doesn't start bouncing on the chair when ever there is the orportunity to.

we got scolded by brynn and lisa. cause we were making loads of noise.cause the sec 2s were mostly trying to explain the sec 1s the things that they dun understand. our sec 1s were like what is 'concert b flat'? so, in the end, i explained almost everything concerning it to chee shan. mel explain to clarisse. i think that's how you spell it. iznt it?

then we were given 10more minutes to prac. mrs chua was very disappointed wih us, i could tell. cause her face was like different and she wasn't smiling at all. except for once. once only... feel so guilty. made mrs chua upset. she has been very nice to all of us... sighz...

sorry mrs chua!

2004-05-19T22:07:00.000+08:00

to tear or not to tear

sigh sigh... mom just forced me to wash my hair and now i can't sleep. so... while waiting for it to dry up, i'll play the com for a while and FIND OUT WHERE VICTORIA CONCERT HALL IS!!!!! wanted to find like one whole week liao,didn't. so must! it's friday you know?! *talking to self*

2004-05-17T21:16:00.000+08:00

to tear or not to tear

post exam:

the times after exams where you get to relax and crap around like nuts.
emotions> darn. it's so boring. and the courses are so lame, the activities also. why must there be post exam? haiz... hope it ends soon.

exams:

times to mug around, studying, with a book to your nose.
emotions> haiz... it's so tiring and stressful. whole day study like nuts. hai... why can't post exam come faster?!

irony, iznt it?
yea...

it's an irony that during exams, we think so much about the miseries of exams that we hope for it to end soon. for post exams to come soon. so much we even plan out what to do during post exam periods.
then, when exams over, we celebrate. then after one or two days, the novelity rubs off and we start thinking, oh gosh. it's like so super boring. hope the post exams pass faster. then we'll be back on our usual schedule.

don't worry if you have this kind of mind set. half of the people have about the same mind set. it's just like humans, to wallow themselves in self pity and try to worm their way out instead of finding ways to make it suit you more. yes. that's humans. WE ARE THE SORT OF PEOPLE WHO DO THIS! THIS IS WRONG! but i do it too. so just ignore those words in caps. haha. crapz...................

get on with the stuff!

today, we watched 'the miracle worker'. there are a few main characters. helen keller(the main main one), annie(or was it amy?) sullivan, katherine keller(helen's mom) helen's dad, jimmy keller(helen's brother. got wierd accent. can't hear what he's saying. but sorta undastan. yup). so.......

i love the workers. darn farnie. really. helen is so cute, katherine is so chio and the teacher, annie(shall use the one i think it is) is chio from the side. but only sometimes from the front. any one whose called annie and reads this, regardless of whether you arelike that or not, take no offence. i mean no offence.

yea. helen was quite a prissy dependent little miss keller who can't be offended. until annie sullivan came along and treated helen the way helen treated her. i liked the part when helen and her were 'duelling'. what helen did to annie, annie did back to helen. helen slapped annie, annie slapped her back. same force. then annie shoed everyone out of the room, locked all doors, kept the keys(just in case, tell u later.) and forced her to learn how to eat properly. so farnie. then they ended up on the floor. then helen as so scared she ran out the instance the door was unlocked and ran to her other.(yes, it's annie.)

ya. oh. the only thing i heard properly from jimmy(otherwise known as james) is 'i'm not jealous. i'n envious.' it's a VERY clever statement.

yup. gonna go musck around some more, then sleep.

2004-05-15T21:35:00.000+08:00

to tear or not to tear

abit xian today, so i played this stupid game called 'the emperor's new groove'. yep. that. play for like 3hours then i nearly finish the game. then i gave up, cause i couldn't make out where it was supposed to go. it was actually my sister's cd. crap right? my sister of 6.

yep. just saw this show, called 'the hijack of school bus number 17'(i think.) they said it was based on a true account. it seems true enough already. was like thinking, what's she(martha) gonna do next? what are they(the police and srt/the children) gonna do next?

the school bus was taking like 8 children to school then after picking up the last student, this guy(henry kees) went on board and ya. controled the whole situations. then there was like this girl who was like autistic, scared of dirt and wrinkles on her shirt. then it was very hard to watch her reactions to the threat coming from henry. then this boy, who was half deaf and couldn't hear what they were saying. there was another boy who refered to the school as the moon and some other children whom i dunno wad their problems are. then martha was th bus driver, who tried to talk henry out of hijacking the bus all through the way. in the srt team is the leutenent(dunno how to spell). then she was taking charge becsue the official officer was away on a holiday, fishing. then she was quite unsure of what to do, but managed to do the right thing everytime. then the asst commander was praising her at the end. so ya. it's a nice show. very touching, how the heroine tried to stop the hijacker and save the children, how the srt worked to stop the hijacker and not hurt the children, how the leutenent(kate leion) tried to put out orders that would not harm the hostages and stop the hijacker, how the negotiater(the asst commander) almost cracked while trying to negotiate with the hijacker(he was supposed to be this super calm, good at negotiating person, but he cracked before martha cracked. this is irony for you.)

next saturday marching at 7.15, bring band u and tied and stockings and shoes. must rmb!!!!!! (note to myself.)

mother rushing me off computer. sigh...

yay!

2004-05-14T18:47:00.000+08:00

to tear or not to tear

yay! not to tear! exams over, i got n tuition, i can slack like nuts and what do we have t bring on monday? ok. out of point. but... the point is... exams over! psot exams are here! and i've gotta arrange for PBL meeting with the rest. or not we are so gonna fail our PBL. ok. crap. i dropped my keys on my toes and it was hurting like nuts. and pam sent this gross msg to my friendster acct. then i was like er... cause it was like so nonsensical? ya. nonsensical. i think the new blogger layout is chio. very. more organized and easier to find things. yea. and it's nicer. i tried to read 'pride and prejudice', but till now, more than half the book liaoz, i still don't get the hang of what it's saying. ya. so crap lor. got exam, so stressed out. now no exam, so ian. but ya. can do whateva i want. except crap around my sister. cause she still got exam. lalala... crappy... today cg then hannah played this song. super nice. and very touching oso. it's called 'Why?'. ya. just why. it's like so nice. i love it lor. i'm trying to find the song, but it's lke so hard to find. but i shall continue searching. yep.still searching...

2004-05-02T19:50:00.000+08:00

to tear or not to tear

sigh... trying to do something without ppl looking in to tye com to see what i'm doing. if i tilt the com screen, then they'll be asking me to tilt back. then when i tilt back, they look into the screen, making me not able to do what i want to, like log in to all my accts and check things that i wanna check. but no. my mom comes in, stares at the screen for awhile, even if it's imoblie(as in i just leave it there until my spongebob screensaver comes out) and she still stares at it until she's finally convinced herself that i'm not doing anything nuts. then my dad will come along and stand beside me and stared at the com for a while(even when he4's supposed to be looking for something) then he'll satisfy himself by staring at the blogger post screen, knowing that it's my 'online "diary"'(which i made to stop them from looking in. they don't know the blog add.) even thoiugh the post section is empty. then he walks away. fine. worse. my sister. the horror. she stands beside me and looks in. then, when i thought it would be safe to type, i start typing. then she screams out what i'm typing like so loudly i immediately delete everything. then, i'll tell her to scoot off and she'll say, with this pitiful eyes, 'please, let me see.....' until i cannot stand it anymore and 'bribe' her to go. the other sister is, i tell her something, then she goes and stares into my screen, reading in silence what i'm writing, even if she's all the way opp the room. then when i turn back and tell her not to look, she says, 'i'm not looking. i'm staring at the shades behind the screen.' puh-leaze lorz! i'm not dumb lor!

nvm... i shall endur and kip telling em not to do so. so far, i haven't lost my temper, but i think i will one day. but i shall endur...

i'm tying desperately to burn lJ's cd oso. her cD oesn't work... mine doesn't either. i think is my com burning device got problem. arGH!! nvm. i shall try another one. though it won't probanbly work oso. SOS!!! someone!!! nvm.

2004-04-30T18:04:00.000+08:00

to tear or not to tear

farnie oso. haiz... not yet finish wad i want to do... shall continuie

2004-04-30T17:53:00.000+08:00

to tear or not to tear

found this very cute poem.

i rEaD a nOtE My grAnDmA wrOtE
bAcK iN 1923
grAnDpA kEpt iT iN HiS cOat
aNd hE shOwEd It oNcE tO mE

hE sAiD bOy yOu MiGht nOt uNdErStAnD
bUt a LoNg LoNg TiMe AgO
grAnDmAs dAdDy diDn'T LikE mE nOnE
bUt i LoVeD yOur grAnDmA sO

wE hAd ThiS crAzY pLaN tO mEet aNd rUn AwAy tOgEthEr
gEt mArRiEd iN tHe fiRsT tOwN wE cAmE tO aNd LivE fOrEvEr
bUt nAiLeD tO tHe treE whErE wE wErE sUpPoSeD tO mEet iNstEaD
i fOuNd ThiS LettEr aNd ThiS iS whAt iT SaiD:

If yOu gEt thErE bEfOrE i dO
dOn't gIvE uP oN mE
i'LL mEet yOu whEn mY chOrEs ArE tHrOuGh
i DoN't knOw hOw LoNg i'LL bE
bUt i'M nOt gOnnA lEt yOu dOwN
dArLiNg wAit aNd sEe
aNd bEtwEeN nOw aNd thEn
uNtiL i sEe yOu aGaiN
i'LL bE lOviN' yOu
lOvE, mE

i rEaD thOsE wOrDs jUst hOuRs bEfOrE mY grAnDmA pAssEd AwAy
iN tHe dOoRwAy oF tHe chUrCh whErE mE aNd gRaNdPa stOpPeD tO prAy
i knOw i'vE nEvEr sEeN hiM cRy
iN aLL My fiFtEeN yEaRs.

very cute...

2004-04-30T16:37:00.000+08:00

to tear or not to tear

lalala... chinese ack-xam finished to day. gau dim el and mtl ack-xam liao... so hapy... but stil got the rest of the subjects. hai... so tired. then i sask my mom if i must go for tuiton, then she said dun want oso can. so, i'm staying home to play com. one whole wek din play liao leh! mom din allow. yup. so hae to burn lijin's cd, burn my cd and try to figure out what to do next. yep dunnoe wad to do liao la...

2004-04-26T13:35:00.000+08:00

to tear or not to tear

roll call! shervon wants to check ho has passed up and completed the hansvision and flash project. i sit liao..

haiz... yesterday i was with my mom at jurong east. then i saw this book, 'precious moments bible for catholics'. ythere was a picture of an angel on the cover. i was going so cute cause the precious moments figures very cute. then my mom said, 'if you get a1, i buy you that.' i was thinking huh?! then i told her i had one liaoz... then she said have wad? i said, bible. she said, 'huh?! bible?!' i said arh. then i showed her the fine print that reads bible for catholics. then she said forget it and lectured me from je to my house. sigh.

i think she comfiscated my bible when we got home. i dunno cause i was holed up in my room doing art. i spent like one whole day doing it.

i polished myinstru abit on saturday and my mom came in and scolded me like xiao. she threatened to take my instrument away unless i leave it alone. ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! darn fustrated. but now i' fine liao... cause two days liaoz, cannot dun forget it right? so nvm.

yesterday at about nine, i was staring into space, then suddenly my hp ring, then i jumped like 3cm from where i was sitting lor. then i got a msg.

2004-04-23T21:58:00.000+08:00

to tear or not to tear

today super xian... haiz... today during tuition class, i was like so xian, cause the teacher made us read this stack o=f paper(like 20 pgs?) until like 5.45 then she go through with us the paper. then at 6 o'clock, she took this girl to the next room to teach her her lit. then i was super xian i crapped with the guy who was sitting opp me. then we crap from like 6.15 to 7.00 crap from tuition to school and on and on. then the teacher was like waying us from the next room. then the guy(ahyah. nxt time type E la.) go and close the door. then we continue crapping and crapping and on and on... he's a nutcase lor(i dun mean really.). then i was like sitting there talking to a nutcase. that shows how xian i was... haiz... so until 7.00, then i was like so relieved, cause i was starting to get bored crapping also.(try that for one full hour.) then i hung around the tuition center for awhile, then i left.

on the bus, i saw this person weariung this t-shirt. v cute(the t-shirt. not the person.) there was like this big 'YOUTH' written there and a few gigantic stick figures behind the shirt. haha. i was like staring at the stick figure, trying to figure out what it wa trying to say.

2004-04-21T23:04:00.000+08:00

to tear or not to tear

i juz rmbed that i once had this horrifying dream.

i was walking alone on a dark night. then i walked down the stairs and at the bottom of the stairs was a deep dark hole. there was something surrounding it, warning ppl not to go near it. then i walked past it. then somehow, i went back to that scene. but instead of walking past, i walked towards it and just barely skipped the hole(there was no waning here). but this horrifying thing stuck out and pulled me in. then i woke up.

and then, when i woke up, i was afraid of all holes. i was always scared that a clown would pop it's head out(those kinda evil face clowns) and pull me into the hole. somehow, i dunno why, i was afraid of clowns. dunno why. can someone enlighten me?

2004-04-21T22:18:00.000+08:00

to tear or not to tear

lalala...

in the course of a lifetime, what does it matter?

walk two moons in another's moccasins...

yea..., got this two phrases out of a book called walk two moons. it's very godd book on loss and appreciation. i cried after i finished the whole book. which is quite stupid cause i don't cry for serious things oi

2004-04-21T22:08:00.000+08:00

to tear or not to tear

oooooo... mom scolding sister now. a change... from when she usually scolds me... not trying to be mean..... hm... apparently my sister didn't finish her homework... lalala... i din either. but i'm not gonna say it if she's not gonna question me and she hasn't yet. my sister is a teacher's pet. she sux up to teachers and whoever is older than her and not her sisters. she sux up to my friends, my sister's friends, acts as if she's like ten yrs older than me and very happily, she thinks she bcleverer than even those older than she is and she's not. hello? i can solve math problems that she can't! that's call she's better than me? she challenges me too. challenge like 'so what?' 'you're not mother' 'what you think you are' 'you think you're so great izzit?' 'you think you're so clever izzit?' and she gives me that kinda face that indicates that she thinks she's high and mighty. more so than everybody else. and she takes things her way. i show her this particular thing and when i tell her, 'ok. go away', guess what she does? she stands there and pertends not to hear me and continue looking. until i have to shout at her to get lost then she leave. budden my mom will come by and say, 'dont' need to shout at her like that la...' i will become so irritated i'll try to defend myself. then it gets so bad i just close myself into my own world and drift around the internet. sigh. she's a big fat stupid sucker up teacher's pet trouble making sista of mine and i will have to endur her and continue to do as i usually do... maybe in the future, i'll close myself up so much that i'll become autistic. is that how you spell it?

2004-04-21T21:11:00.000+08:00

to tear or not to tear

today super tired. then went to see doctor. guess wad doctor say? she say i'm pale. pale! how could she say that?! and i think her weighing machine got problem. how can one loss 2kg in less than a month?! she said i needed to go and do bod tests! i hate blood tests!!!!!!!! i scared needled... haiz... must endur. the last time i had to do one i nearly ran away. but my mom was pushing me down, so i had no choice. aH!!!!!!! i hate needles!!!!!!!! i hate blood tests!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

2004-04-19T13:35:00.000+08:00

to tear o not to tear

me here. long time no blog. too long liaoz... so everything run out from my mind liaoz...

ya... the weekends were bad. very teary.

saturday, went for band as per normal, except at 0700. ya. everything as per normal. ombine we had a new piece. 'shrek dance party' got ymca, whatever. i was playing beside annie. then whatever i dunno, i copy her...(embarassed to admit it...) ya. so i was like very confused when they got t the trill part, so i skipped that. ok. then, after combine, we were supposed ton pack up and go to the mini forum. we refering to the sec 2 and 4s. ok. so we packed up. but the sec 4s din. s the played 'movement for rosa'. that was the crazy part where he clarinets(brynn, ashikin, nurul[?], pam, selena etc) cried. still got alot of ppkl cry. then, azura asked me to look behind, then i did. i was soshocked. d was crying. it was like i look left, right, front back, also got at least 1 person crying. i was like ermz... then i got infected also. i cry oso. ya. then the sec 4s finish rosa, then we go mini forum. i was supposed to bring eunice to the band room but ya. i lost her half way back to the band room. so forget it lor.

yesterday, i woke up at 5.30 and went to the airport to send mysister to the airport. i was crying after she left. well, tears were in my eyes, but i tried not o let them down la... used my sister's almost 1 metre pooh bear to cover my face cause i was at the airport and my family and my sister's friends there... very malu to break down into tears there. ya. s after, when i got home, slept from 1000 to 1900. i was so shocked that i slept that long. must be cause i woke u at 0530 at like the whole wk. so yeah.

2004-04-02T23:04:00.000+08:00

F U.

fhertoo.

2004-04-02T22:15:00.000+08:00

F U.

F her! F her!!! wow. can't a person even have the freedom to go on-line? i just on the com, then here she comes, asking, 'use internet again har? what's so impt that you chiong to the com ah? what are you doing there ah?'

i'm typing this when she's not here la. juz now what she had to do was sit behind me and stare at the screen. i can't do anything at all then.

my sister's leaving on the 18th april. to australia.

i'm crying, of anger, irritant, fuatration. mostly fustration. but i'm NEVER EVER letting those tears fall. NEVER!

2004-03-28T15:02:00.000+08:00

i will not endur having ppl insult me or the things related to me.

i have no idea what i am gonna type. just updating for fun.

2004-03-26T22:28:00.000+08:00

i will not endur having ppl insult me or the things related to me.

wa... nv c my sis so crappy b4. muz b cause mom dad not at home. she's asking me to choose a card and put it at the bottom of the stack... then she shuffles and find the card! wa... so li hai... v funi. shoo sis!

2004-03-25T20:20:00.000+08:00

i will not endur having ppl insult me or the things related to me.

not writing much. doing art now. --b. hate art now. used to like art until i came to sec sch. i like doing art by myself. but getting taught? it's a definate nono. and ms yew left! hen this ms lee siew yan took over. i think that she thinks that we are idiots and have very very diff learning stages. hey! wake up. we all got about the same for psle! she kept calling on me. duno what her prob is. must be bcaus i look guai and probably she thinks my will can easily be broken by her. but i tell. you. my will will never be broken. esp by one who looks like ms koh, but is totally diff from ms koh. i tell you i dun like her. my decision is final unless she manages to make me like her. final.

plus her smile is very fake. final!!!

2004-03-23T22:03:00.000+08:00

i will not endur having ppl insult me or the things related to me.

haha. i finished another book, which is actualy a trilogy all in 1 book. in two days!!! i was like wow when i finished it. it's abt this girl called leah who had cancer and had to be admitted nto hospital, then she met this amish family by chance, when rebekah longacre got bitten by a spider and had infection. then, she made friends with them. she was healed from cancer by an angel and...

ok... i shall not say anymore, cause if i do, no body would need to read it... --b. dun feel like smiling mood today.

--( had pains all day long. not pain here, then pain there. i had sudden headache in sch after doing the hmec stuff, then, it was gone after i stood still for awhile. then, after sch, walking to mrt wif j and lj, i had a sudden pain in my left ankle, which has always been fine. usually, when it is a pain in the ankle, or omost sprain an ankle, it's the right ankle. wierdly enough, though my left brain is stronger than my right brain and my right hand is stronger than my left, my right ankle is weaker than my left ankle. then suddenly left ankle pain. was abit scared then.

yest, during combine, i kept hearing the clarinetists, one of them, call my name. then, when i look over to see hu called me. no one was. they were talking with themselves super softly. then after combine, i heard someone call me. i thought was j, so i turn my head. then she din call me. she was talking to wt. v scary! m was freaked ot oso. but she freaked me out further than i already was. --b meano!

2004-03-22T13:36:00.000+08:00

i will not endur having ppl insult me or the things related to me.

now in cs class. must type softly... cause got ppl doing recording... i am sian to death liao... cause dun tok much and... wait!!! the typing sound suddenly louder by alot alot liaoz... i think its me... my typing uite hard. but short... nvm... i am so sian and i am hearing hwee geok talk abt when she was at the mus art thingy... i couldn't go... haiz... then thi morn, hg came in and had to tell me that they saw b and d... hg say lj freak out and went frm one end of the concert hall to the other just to be if them... really lor... i dunnoe wad they see in them lor. it's like they are just ppl. plain ppl... i have nth to say liaoz... then recess hg kept oing on and on (and on)(1000000) abt nf. that was and on times a million times. and i oso dunnoe wad hg sees in nf lor. she is just a person, like you and me. haiyo... i've got very little to write liao...

i read in a book once that sadness and traumatizing things cause one to be a good artist. whether in art or music. i think that statement real. i think i got that statement out of this bok called 'i miss you, i miss you' i'm not sure wad the author is, but it's an emo bk.

ok.ok. lj says hi... she made me type that.

the bk is abt this pair of twin sister. one of them was very quiet, obedient and shy, and the other very out spoken, rebellious and loud. then ne day, on the b'dae of their stepmother, the hy uiet twin was knocked down by a car, while they were running across the rd to the bus stop opp. she was knocked down just seconds after her sister had crossed. i think she was knockd down by her brother's friend, who likes her.

pearlyn wants me to say that she is very cute. wad i want to say is '--. that's the 2nd time a person interrupy me while i'm blogging... sighz... continue...

then elder twin has to deal with the fact that her sister had died, partially because of her. one day, she re dthis article abt this director making a movie abt this pair o twins so, she decides to tell the director abt her experience witha twin, to help with the movie. the director was giving a talk abt that movie in a camp, so, she joined the camp. at the camp, she met ppl. then she finally meets someone whom she thinks she likes. but was abt to betray her. she felt happy in the company of the peron. and when she got bak home, she was quite ok...

hre friend's brother and him were a pair of singers and he wroe a song abt her sister andhe wanted the left behind twin to play the music, on her violin for the...

continue later. endno cs class.

melody of the song. then the song turned out better than it would have if the violin sound was from electronics. her name was on the cover of the discs, which the brothers sold, and that was alot. so, she became a happy person in the end with the help of her sister's memory and her friends and her sisters friends. yay. i love happy endings. but i cried abit cause very emo... *sniff* jk.

ya. mom has oficially banned me frm internet except 1hr per day on wkdaes and 2 per day on wkends. hey! that's the same as i usually use. ex i use 2hr every fortnight. yea. nvm. it'll still work ou t fine.

2004-03-21T00:34:00.000+08:00
i will not endur having ppl insult me or the things related to me.

i cut my lips and my finger on tow occasions and they still hurt. nvm. my mom making me go off line. bb. sori so long nv update.

2004-03-15T22:03:00.000+08:00
i will not endur having ppl insult me or the things related to me.

guess wad?

i was told to go for tuition on monday (today) last friday and i went. then i go there, nobody, except a few sec 4/5s and the tuition teacher. i wad like wad the?! ok. then the teacher tell me to find somewhere to sit and i sat at the far far corner of the table, nearest to the door so if i need to chiong out, i can do so faster. but since go there liaoz, then nvm ma... but ya... the teacher go out photostat smthing and me and this girl from aes sit like opp each other and at each end of the table. then i was like fiddling with the things in my bag and pencil case, so that i dun need to talk to her la... i nv like talking to sm1 i dun know unless sm1 intro me to the sm1. yea.

tmr got band. so will type faster. then go sleep. band is wad time? 11 or 12? nvm. oh ya. i need to get new batteries for the cd player. dunnoe how 3 daes can finish using 2 batteries one... sighs... back to wad i was saying.

ya. then the teacher came back with three sets of compre. she give me mine then she give da girl hers. oh ya. the girl is sec 4/5 liao la... taking n'level. ok... teacher(lazy to type teacher. will type mrs cheng.) tell me got 5 pg, but ctually got 6 pgs... the 1st sntence i read frm the 1st pg was smthing abt frodo baggins. 1st wrd on 2nd pg was frodo. i was like huh?! ok... then mrs cheng tell me to wait for her to come back b4 i start doing and read the story 1st... but hey! i nv read the passage before i attempt the questions. i can nv read 1st. u ask me to read 1st is like asking me to walk upside down...

ah!!! tmr got band!!! must type faster. dun care the mistakes.

then i do and do and do and do and so on and so forth. i finish liao then she come in with a cup of coffee and say i do very fast. hey! i do faster than that usually. but nvm... then she go through wif me and tell me my mistakes and so on and so forth.

then inish liao. dismissed. I SPENT 2 HOURS DOING ONE MISERABLE COMPREHENSION WHICH IS LIKE... i've got nth to say except that i'm abt disappointed wif myself. yups. lalala... will stop typing this post now. maybe later will got another post... yepz... buaiz...

2004-03-15T15:49:00.000+08:00
i will not endur having ppl insult me or the things related to me.

lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala.

i wanted to dao hg. then, i decided not to. i'm gonna make her feel guilty. totally.

2004-03-12T23:07:00.000+08:00
i will not endur having ppl insult me or the things related to me.

yes. that sentence is totally true.

hey.

how would YOU feel if smone u thought was ur true fren insulted the things close to u?

huh?

how?

u tell me?

did u enjoy it when i insulted?

did u not care when i insulted?

no, u din.

u retorted.

but hey.

i'm not allowed ot retort, i found out.

i found out that your insults are just for fun.

but to me, it's a serious thing.

it would be for u.

so why can't it be for me?

huh?

why can i not insult ur thing jokingly and u can insult mine?

huh?

tell me!

why lor?

i am not gonna break down into tears as i once would. i will never ever let u have the satisfaction of knowing that i cry too. i've cried. i will cry. but never ever before you or even let you know. i will never ever tell you the things that hurt me. as i have done from since i knew u.

hey. why can't i do that if u can?

hey u.
yes, u.
hey. face me when i talk to you.
hey don't turn away and pretend it's not u.

why won't u listen?
why won't u understand?
why won't u sense the hurt?
or have you lost it long ago?

i c u dun wan me to
do the same as you've done to me.
but hey!
why r u doing it to me?!

i have questions.
unknown answers i wanna know...

hey come on.
don't run away.
from the hurt that u've cause.
from the anger that you've created.

don't force me to endur
this pain and hurt you've given me.
you are now.
so as you c this,
can you stop it?

can you actually stop it?
can you?
from the sound of ur tone,
i can tell, you can't.

2004-03-10T19:28:00.000+08:00
xianz. xianz. xianz. xianz. xianz. craps.

i'm gonna start reading the super super thick book i borrowed from the library. yepz. gotta finis two super super thick bks by next sunday. and return it to the library.

i can' stand geko... wad oso ni fong this ni fong that... haiyo... can die listening to her rattle on and on abt nf. u say ok. but on and on is a bad sign. a sign.

a sign.
a bad bad sign.
a horible sign.
a terible sign.

the sign is in...
comprehensible,
but it is obvious that it is very(x10) bad...

hey break the sign.
hey stop the sign.
break the sign and stop the sign...
from showing.
from exposing ur inner most secrets.

those so secret they can drive you crazy.
those so secret they can't be told to your friends,
those so secret they eat youinsides away.
and u waste to a speck.

haha... the ending is stupid... cause i tired liao... type too much, and not enough oxygen... mama scold liao, wan me go off com... haiz... i was waiting for her to go out so i can use the internet freely... other than use blogger... not that i dun wan o type in my blog la... ok... nvm... this post will end... maybe there will be another one to come, later today... c 1t la... ok... here.

2004-03-10T19:16:00.000+08:00
xianz. xianz. xianz. xianz. xianz. craps.
hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm... nvm... i finiss my wabbit bk and a dwagon bk... ya. it was is thin. the dwagon bk. the wabbit bk is thick like dunno wad... now is the 2nd post i post. i very xian!!! very very xian!!! mom behind me, i can't do anything much except edit blog!!! ah!!!! confined in a cage and watched on by outsider...

i'm confined by an invisible cage,
and watched on by ppl outside.
i'm stuck on the same page,
which is fast filling up,
the words are getting unreadable.

i'm confined!
Watched!
stuck on the same page,
where my story repeats
over and over again...

i'm locked in.
i'm stuck in.
the key to my freedom is gone,
as i am.
the key to my freedom,
is obviously disposed.
how can i get out of here?

i'm confined!
Watched on!
stuck on the same page,
where my story repeats
over and over again...

find my key...
unlock my door...
let me out...
let me go....

turn my page...
give me a new pen.
let me write,
a brand new story,
different from this one.

i'm confined!
Watched on!
stuck on the same page,
where my story repeats
over and over again...

until someone turns my page,
until someone finds the key,
i'm confined!
Watched on!
stuck on the same page,
where my story repeats
over and over again...

hey that was pretty reasonable... ok... that was a song i wrote on impulse... ok... i write these wu liao wu liao things often. in my diary, i've written like 10(?) of these wu liao wu liao songs that come into my head with the tune, and disappears the moment i finish thinking it. the words might stay, but the tune is gone...

shoots. i feel like writing another song... lyrics only...

the words are here.
the tune is gone.
the voice is gone.
there's no way to sing it.

now that we're gone.
now that they're gone.
who will sing the song again?
who will???

let us all get together!
rewrite the tune!
revise the words,
refine the voice

let us all find a voice.
refine our voice.
and sing the song again and again.
again and again...

the words are changed,
the tune is back...
the voice is restored...
it's bakc again.

now that we're back,
now that they're back.
we will sing the song again and again.
until the day our voices are gone forever...

let them all get together!
rewrite the tune!
revise the words,
refine the voice

let them all find a voice.
refine their voice.
and sing the song again and again.
again and again...

ok this one is worse than the previous one... so whoever reads this, can classify my mad... jk.

2004-03-10T18:44:00.000+08:00
xianz. xianz. xianz. xianz. xianz. craps.

got nth to do...and no time to do oso...nvm...lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala.

2004-03-09T17:41:00.000+08:00
xianz. xianz. xianz. xianz. xianz. craps.

i am super xian with th to do. i've decided to juz ype and not go back and check the post for mistakes, whether spelling or gramma or thiz or that r etc or etc etc. ok. i', being very crappy here. but so i can tell how much mistake i'll make every tie i type mq... ok... nvm... dunwan to ype liao. as i said a few daes ago, i can't stand seeing bad(x10) typing

2004-03-07T17:32:00.000+08:00
xianz. xianz. xianz. xianz. xianz. craps.

my paren din go for the sec 3 placement thingy yesterday. mom take sis to tuition, dad went for business trip. i dun even think they care wad i take next yr. really.

on wednesday, i asked my father, 'wad should i take nxt yr?'
he say: dunnoe u la.
i said: i feel like taking triple science. but i dun wan the lit.
he say: *nth*
my sis say: dun have lit one wad.(her sch no lit one.)
i say: we all the choice oso haf to take lit.
i say: there's combine humanities.
i say: the humanities got hist+ss and geog+ss. i decide wan to take geog +ss liao.
she say: got like that one meh?
i say: got. our sch all choices oso like that one, except the one which focus on human.
i say: oso got ss+lit. but i dun wan.
no reaction frm anyone.
he say: so how? ur foundation course
i think: huh?!
she say: (alot of thing...)

in the end, the conversation turned over to my siste's foundation course with nothing said to my problem.

then my mother side.

i say: wad should i take next year?
she say: how i know?
i say: they wan us to fill up a form, saying which option we want most to which we want least.
she say: huh? so early?
i say: ya.
she say: how come so early? not after the exam then the place u in one meh?
i say: no.
she say:i dunnoe u la.

then nth. NTH!

frm that conversation, it was like they din care lor... then why couldn't my father cancel the trip to malaysia juz this once?! it's not his company one lor. it's his own business one. then why couldn't my mom let my sis not go tuition for once? juz so that they can go for the sec 3 placement talk thing? why lor? why muz everything come b4 me lor? my sister's tuition, his business, my other sister's foundation course? if they dun care abt my studies hor, sooner or later i'll be worse than my sister liao lor. she think her marks no gd, but it actually quite gd. she manage to get into jc lor. still need foundation course. me leh? my marks are gonna go down lor. my mom think i'm better than my sister. maybe i am now. but by sec 4? i'm gonna drop if i dun do well in any subject lor. it's like they dun even care! they won't even take a day off to find out what i should take for nxt yr and wad i want to take. they won't even take a little time off other things to discuss wad i shou;d take and wad i wan to take nxt yr. not even a little! how unfair is that? my sister has wad she needs for her course. a brand new laptop of her choice, her freedom to go out with her friends whenever she wants, her fees ready, approval frm my parens to take the course when she's 17. i won't be able to take the course when i'm 17, even if i wean to. why? cause wad my parens have for paying for courses taken in the futureis already spent on my sister's course fee. i dun really mind this. but why am i always the one who has less than the rest? less of alot of things? why?

i really wan to know. really really wan to know.

2004-03-06T17:38:00.000+08:00
xianz. xianz. xianz. xianz. xianz. craps.

ok... not gonna write to dae.

2004-03-06T16:58:00.000+08:00
xianz. xianz. xianz. xianz. xianz. craps.

2004-03-05T21:29:00.000+08:00
lalala... du wan to type, but wil type. cause nth to do...

juz now i went to tuition. then break da time, this guy(edmund), sitting beside me, kept asking me questions. i was like so irritated cause i doing my composition. then he saw how long my compo was, cause i wrote retty long and he oso saw how fast i wrote, cause i wrote fast, but messy, then he say wad teach him how to write quickly... xiao... very guai4 lor... this person... he ask if crez got nc or not, then i say have, then he ask y i din join. i was thinking, what does he wan to know for?

then my sister tuition class mate was asking me questions abt my sister. then he wan to send my sister off oso... wa... my sister going aust for foundation course. haha... he walk home barefooted 2 wks ago cause my sister's shoe spoilt and he lent my sister his shoe... haha... then he ask me what sch my sister frm, when she's actually leaving, etc etc... i was like thinking wad does he want to know for? again.

it seems that todae, ppl have been asking me questions that r totally out of pt and wu2 liao2. totally.

art i must complete it on time. must!

uh... then... ya... pei xuan gave me a beanie for my b'dae present... yay... so nice... beanies r quite expensive lor... so nice...ya... but she wrap unil very hard to open... cause she put double side tape around the wraping paper and to wrap up the present.... then the tape out side the paper got alot of pieces of straw and paper stuck to it lor... had hard time opening it... then the paper stuck onto my hand... haiz... ok... nvm... and hwee geok, it is not the beanie that u call me, ok? it's a cuter beanie that is a... RABBIT!!! so far, i've got 2 things that are based on rabbits. a bk and a plushie... the rabbit on the bk v cute... the plushie not that cute, but still cute...

ok... i v satisfied with my compo... but i forgot wad the three blks surounding the parade sq is called. wad each of them r called. and my handwriting v messy. super super messy.

mrs ching say i write v fast . the person who ask abt my sister oso. haha... i amazed a jc student by writing fast and quite gd. haha... --b... got nth more to write, so... till here put down pen. translate into chinese!

2004-03-02T18:17:00.000+08:00
tired. not tired. got flu. no flu. AH!!! i dunnoe!!!

dun wan to type.

2004-03-01T21:30:00.000+08:00
tired. not tired. got flu. no flu. AH!!! i dunnoe!!!

haha, i so guai... doing hmwk... acually not. anyway, i'm asking! who want go je ice skating on wednesday after sch? tell me by wednesday, k? cause wednesday my b dae and mom allow me go ice-skating. only. anyway... tell me, kz? awaiting replies... --)

lalala... i havent do my hmwk in like 1/2 hr? muz do abit. abit.... juz kiddin. lalala... two more days to my b'dae. anyway, ifeel better than just now liaoz... but still bad... is my typing better? better right? ya.

i got no one to confide in. i'm finally telling myself this. with much destress. i think some ppl whom i thought trust me and tell me thier problems are starting to distrust me... really... dunnoe why...

nvm... i'll just have to endur fake happiness on and on. and endur fake emotions. until real emotions finally decide to surge up.

2004-03-01T13:25:00.000+08:00
tired. not tired. got flu. no flu. AH!!! i dunnoe!!!

MY BIRTHDAY IS TWO DAES FRM TODAY!!!!!!

i lost touch with th kyboard. see? everytime i try to type mthing, i tpe it wrong. i'll type this sentence correctly. but it'll take a longer time.i think got flu. really this tme. i've been sneezing ince yesterday. and 2dae, i sneeze almost 10 times. izzit my sis pass on one? yest, she sneeze 10 times. i want o sleep liao.

now cs. lesson. not anything else. but not really esson cause shervon not teaching. juz checking our work. she say my wrk v good. obviously right?! i missed three lunches just to do that and had to endur like three hrs of hunger on three mondaes k?!

jas jus make new blog. link at usual place. then very irritating. she keep asking us, geko, lj n me, queions. every time blogger asks her smthing.

i dun wan to type liao./ can't stand seeing my wrong pelling and slow fingers. did i tell u that my fingers are movibng very slowly and can't typ as quickly as i use to be able to?

I A DARN IRRITATED BY MY NOSE. on top of every thing else. see? now jas is asking again. abt templates. can die of tiredom. and nose irritant.

2004-02-28T22:11:00.000+08:00
lalala... common test over... i got a manual diary plus this one... so i can write more private things in it that i can't write here... --) lalalalala...

chee shan can play high a, clarice cannot... dunnoe y they find it so hard to play that note... mel n i could play that by this time last yr...

not trying to show off... shuang ying 'accused' me of trying to show her down. i wasn't. i was juz trying to reach high notes regularly.i cant't reach them when i tired. now i can't reach high d when i tird. usually, i juz can't reach high f.

gtg liao. mom nagging. again!

2004-02-27T23:17:00.000+08:00
lalala... common test over... i got a manual diary plus this one... so i can write more private things in it that i can't write here... --) lalalalala...

uhoh. my grp dun have the speech for the phoenitics thing ready. we dun even know who is going for wad day. die liaoz. now i searching 4 info on sci fi.

i dun tyoe long long i feel like i din blog lorz. nvm. i feel bad.

lalala...... i only found very little info... still finding... tired...

2004-02-27T08:36:00.000+08:00
lalala... common test over... i got a manual diary plus this one... so i can write more private things in it that i can't write here... --) lalalalala...

i'm now in sch. we got free period. wad did i sign in 4 liao ah? oh. to link my sista.

2004-02-25T21:11:00.000+08:00
lalala... common test over... i got a manual diary plus this one... so i can write more private things in it that i can't write here... --) lalalalala...

thank god 4 hannah...

she's gonna pray for me... so that i can be baptised in the Holy Spirit. i'm so touched. really. very touched.

yea... if things dun go wrong, i migh be able to go church!!!

but if mom know, she's gonna forbid me lorz...

she dun wan me go. dunnoe why.

cannot type much. she's here. mom, i mean.

ttfn!

translation for ttfn: tata for now.

2004-02-25T18:44:00.000+08:00
lalala... common test over... i got a manual diary plus this one... so i can write more private things in it that i can't write here... --) lalalalala...

AH!!! YAKKA CAN SPEAK IN TONGUES AND UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE'S SAYING!!! i'm abit jealous... i still can't speak in tongues... but very happy to have a sheepmate who can understand what she's saying in tongues. according to hannah, it's rare... rare for a peson to know what he/she is saying in tongues... i can't speak in tongues... i want to... haiz...

2004-02-24T20:36:00.000+08:00
lalala... common test over... i got a manual diary plus this one... so i can write more private things in it that i can't write here... --) lalalalala...

crapping crapping... haha... crappy... haha... '--

i lost my hp 2 wks b4 my b'dae and my mom was gonna help me trade in my phone... boohoo... now got no hp liaoz... my mom trying to make me guilty... asking me every now and then, 'u lost ur p liaoz, how i help u change?' haiz... then when my pap knew, he dao me for 2 daez... then when they knew, i ws studying common test... papa scold on left side, mama scold on right side... scold until i cannot concentrate. darn irritating...

2004-02-24T20:31:00.000+08:00
lalala... common test over... i got a manual diary plus this one... so i can write more private things in it that i can't write here... --) lalalalala...

yay!!! finally common test over!!! actually it was three days only... haha... but stress ah... got this piano audition for this concert on sunday, 2 daez ago, and i was at cristofori frm 10 am to like 4 pm lors... then play piano play for like 4 hrs? tired... then morning i had stitch. stitch while walking(!) only... it carried on until today... hope 2moro no more.

the audition was horrible lor... this gurl, i think her name is rachel tam, she play this series of running notes continously for like 5 minutes? and play until very clear oso. fast and clear. then this guy called jeol wadeva, he play the piano play very loud. and had. play until the whole grand piano, yes, grand piano, shake lor... like gonna collapse like that... then very embarassing. this duet ppl, i think abt 10 and below only. then they play the songs are like totally li hai lor... evenone that looked 8 yr old... i c them play, i got no confidence liao... my duet partner oso scared like dunnoe wad... i had to pretend to be calm to calm her down... but not much us la... haha...

then after the audition over, when i was going home, i omost got injured by this guy with his skateboard. he was like strolling, and i was behind. then suddenly, he swing his board and change it to the other hand. omost hit me. was so irritated that i strode off as soon as i got the chance to.

ok, then i got tuition, then i go and sleep. too tired liao...

then monday, yest, i was like so tired of studying, that i din study. today oso. then geog... u know the drinkable water? they asked what it's called. i wrote osmisized water... i rmb right after the teacher collect the paper that it was potable water!!! maths i'm very ok... happy... but fear that i might have made mistakes or do wrongly... --b

where got like that one? i wrote testimonial for like abt 10 ppl and i only got 2. --b

2004-02-14T16:38:00.000+08:00
yes, u might think u know me... but in actual, u dun even know one bit abt me.

actually this was promted by geko's blog entry. it made me realise that alot of ppl do no know the real me, and they think who they know is the real me... so i decided to tell that i'm not who i seem.

frm now on, i'll be honest in blog typing. wad my emotions are, how i feel, what really happened, wad i thik others think happened. but most of all, i promise to my blog that i'll type the truth and the whole truth it is i'll write.

ok... now to wad happened 2dae...

this moring, when i woke up, i was so tired cause i typed the earlier entry frm like 10-11.45? ya... so ws so tired... then sister walk wif me to the bus stop cause she had to go to sch early to prepare for this haunted house thingy that her class and a few other classes are doing. then she was sitting bside me, so cannt pull out the cd player i brought... otherwise she'll kill me. so i sat there, doing literally nth since i din bring my book. she finally got down after some time.

in the mrt station all the way up to sch, i was wrapping up the pwesents for my section da ppl la... i finally decided not to give abigail the fluff ball keyring. i gave a pink one to ruth and annie each.

morning got marching ma... then they split us into grps of 2 columns. 2 columns x 3 rows = 6 ppl. then the sax sl took us. then we move frm the art gallery behind da service rd to the bench where near the mini forum.

the sax sl kept making us redo. i admit we made misakes, but it's tiring and annoying to not have eaten anything at all and keep having smone telling u to redo and redo again. in the end when we were let off to go for sectionals, i was like darn tired and 'suan'.

so we got new pieces. 'Larga Cordobesa' and 'christus factus est'.

i owe annie 5 rounds parade square.

2004-02-13T23:31:00.000+08:00
yes, u might think u know me... but in actual, u dun even know one bit abt me.

happy v day everyone else.

i got this long long list of ppl who i have decided to give special gifts... these gifts i bought seperately frm the other gifts. haha... i'm gonna give abigail a fluff ball key-ring.

i'vr got nth else to write...

i can't write my feelings abt anything here at all... juz a sumary of live. this is one truth abt me that i wan those who think they know me to take note of... it's very true:-

i do not type my feelings here and i do not tell others my feelings etc because i dun wan others to know too much abt me. this way, i'm less vunerable to hurt.

this sentence is totally true.

nobody knows the real me. not even my parents. cause i dun tell tehm everything in my life. they think they know me. they dun they think i'm ver bad. i'm juz average. they think i can't handle things myself. i can.

i hate being mistaken, but i dun like to correct others. i dunnoe y. but i juz dun like to correct others on what they think abt me.

i have like over a thousand over diff faces. one moment i might look happy. i am actually feeling upset inside. i might look as if i do not care. but i care. there are little times where my inside and outside is the same.

wad i say might not be wad i'm thinking. wad i do might not be wad i want. wad i decide might not be my very own decision.

i hate going up to some one to make friends cause i'm afraid of rejection. i follow, cause i wan to blend in. so i wun be left out. i can't trust my judgement any longer. not long anyway. those i belive in are not wad i think they are(some).

this is the 1st time i'm totally honest in blogging. i'm crying. i dunnoe why, but all i know is that i feel very upset.

i'll end now cause i'm being rushed away frm th com. bye c.

2004-02-11T17:29:00.000+08:00
JeSuS rOx! LoVe JeSuS!!! bAnD rOx!

'-- my sis dunnoe how to burn cd and she ue com like 2 times more than i... yay... i had to teach her how to burn cd... and create folder on desktop... haha...

aiyo... so dangerous... she juz came in... if she sees this, i'm dead... jk...

wa... i think my date mind quite gd... i can tell the date... hehe... ummodest person... muz modest abit...haha...

2004-02-10T19:22:00.000+08:00
JeSuS rOx! LoVe JeSuS!!! bAnD rOx!
yea...

yea 4 wad?

nth.

got nth to do...